Waiting...

I am an impatient person. I cannot stand traffic and I am always in a hurry to get things done. To me, the concept of "better things to do with my time" is the rule rather than the exception.

Then again, there are people that are extremely patient. Sometimes, while they can be admirable, they can also be a pain in the neck. It's like they have all the time in the world to while away.

Someone once told me that patience is a virtue. And while I objected occasionally to this belief, there would be times when I would stop and pause and think of the benefits of not having to cope with this anxiety-ridden world. I guess we are all made to believe that in this material world, we need to get from point A to point B in a zip - and we become anxious when this expectation is not met. Somehow, we have allowed ourselves to be controlled by technological marvels and competitive advancements in careers and life that the expectancy of waiting and loss of patience has deprived us of a better life.

It is said that waiting is an essential part of life. "Life is not finished in itself; there is always something more to it, something yet to come. Parents wait for their children to grow up, children wait for their time to go to school and get a job, we all wait for the sun to set before we can enjoy the beauty of moonlight. What would life be if we can no longer wait?"

Then there is the waiting for Advent or Christmas. As a Filipino race, we wait in perpetuity starting from September 1 on our countdown to Christmas. Kids wait for the holiday season to get gifts under the tree or the poor wait for some good soul to give them even just a temporary meaning to sharing and giving during the holidays. While many of us wait for our 13th month pay or our bonus, there are those who also wait for a morsel of bread to eat or even another year to live after surviving the battle with cancer for the year.

Life may be difficult and the situation around us may be disheartening, but I believe that perseverance without fear of disappointment and hope beyond prayers will always be the kind of spirit that the season of Advent reminds us.

Beyond all the despair or joy, laughter or tears...lies a heart that remains to wait for longing to look forward with hope for a happy holiday and a better year ahead.

Beyond Australia

My Australian vacation blog will be posted once I get my life back together. With the long vacation we had, coming home was all work! But seriously, the respite from all the patients ringing and the stress at work came to a pause during the 9 days with my partner. It was a time to get away from it all and just enjoy not only each others company, but to have fun.

It was, so to speak, beyond the cities of Melbourne and Sydney - a well spent holiday. Expensive as it was (as the cost was being charged to my Mastercard and Visa), the actual tag price of this memorable vacation was priceless.

Missing you

Somehow, I find it strange blogging about relationships and happiness.

For the record, I am not an expert on this matter. I have been in and out of relations and honestly speaking, have had disappointments. Temporary happiness. So who hasn't?

For over 15 years, I had given up on finding the right person. I stopped looking. And embedded myself on work, work, work. Strangely, there comes a time when in spite of not looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, someone comes along and changes the course. Destiny? I think not. We attempt to thwart from our minds, hearts, and libido (of course) having to find an emotional crutch. Then we find ourselves alone and asking why? Was all the success worth it? Were all the failures in a past relation a reflection of who we are and what we are or not capable of? And someone comes along - again.

Every relation searches for the eternal companionship. One that is basically based on love and sacrifice. Of course, not all will end in a story that spells happily ever after.

I asked once the question, will you give up everything you have including your own happiness, just to make the other person happy? And I had some friends that made various comments - for or against the thought.

Life is complicated. If it were simple, then there would be no problems. I mean, let's face it, there are things that we want out of life and the journey we go through make us make decisions that may hurt others, or even the one we love.

My take is simple. We need to look in the mirror each day and ask ourselves if the relationship is worth it all. Not just the material things we share with one another, but the life we intend to make with each other. It pains me to see someone you care for so much to feel depressed and unhappy on moments together. To be unable to open up to one another in a deeper way and live a relation on superficial happiness.

Marriage is not an assurance that two people will be happy forever. To me, it's just a piece of paper. But a relationship and happiness is built on love. A love that commits to giving it all, through the good and the bad times. A love that understands what is not understandable. A love that is willing to share the bitter half of you with your better half. It is a shared commitment to finding happiness.

I am not a hopeless romantic. If the significant other in the relationship is miserable with you in the picture, there should always be a way out, even if it will hurt one or both parties.

The most painful part of a relationship is not the letting go. It's the dying each day because the other is not happy anymore.

It's the part where missing you is the most heart breaking. And finding me is the most fulfilling.