Monday, November 2, 2009

Missing you

Somehow, I find it strange blogging about relationships and happiness.

For the record, I am not an expert on this matter. I have been in and out of relations and honestly speaking, have had disappointments. Temporary happiness. So who hasn't?

For over 15 years, I had given up on finding the right person. I stopped looking. And embedded myself on work, work, work. Strangely, there comes a time when in spite of not looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, someone comes along and changes the course. Destiny? I think not. We attempt to thwart from our minds, hearts, and libido (of course) having to find an emotional crutch. Then we find ourselves alone and asking why? Was all the success worth it? Were all the failures in a past relation a reflection of who we are and what we are or not capable of? And someone comes along - again.

Every relation searches for the eternal companionship. One that is basically based on love and sacrifice. Of course, not all will end in a story that spells happily ever after.

I asked once the question, will you give up everything you have including your own happiness, just to make the other person happy? And I had some friends that made various comments - for or against the thought.

Life is complicated. If it were simple, then there would be no problems. I mean, let's face it, there are things that we want out of life and the journey we go through make us make decisions that may hurt others, or even the one we love.

My take is simple. We need to look in the mirror each day and ask ourselves if the relationship is worth it all. Not just the material things we share with one another, but the life we intend to make with each other. It pains me to see someone you care for so much to feel depressed and unhappy on moments together. To be unable to open up to one another in a deeper way and live a relation on superficial happiness.

Marriage is not an assurance that two people will be happy forever. To me, it's just a piece of paper. But a relationship and happiness is built on love. A love that commits to giving it all, through the good and the bad times. A love that understands what is not understandable. A love that is willing to share the bitter half of you with your better half. It is a shared commitment to finding happiness.

I am not a hopeless romantic. If the significant other in the relationship is miserable with you in the picture, there should always be a way out, even if it will hurt one or both parties.

The most painful part of a relationship is not the letting go. It's the dying each day because the other is not happy anymore.

It's the part where missing you is the most heart breaking. And finding me is the most fulfilling.

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