Before and after

Seriously, I had a size 24 waistline when I was in college, all the way up to med school.

I remember that when I did my fellowship in Boston, I had to go to the children's clothes section to buy my clothes! My t-shirts were size 16, my underwear had to be for a 16 year old, and my pants were still size 24! I was 105 pounds when I was in college. A weight I maintained up to my fellowship days. During my fellowship years, I would often be mistaken for a teenager, having the need to show my ID when I would buy a bottle of wine. I think I could have been a great poster boy for Cambodia, where you see this scrawny little malnourished boy wearing a shirt that's a size too big for him.

A couple of decades later and I'm 40 pounds heavier. Gosh! Where did all that fat come from?

Seriously, when I hit 40, I saw the fine lines on my face. It's been less than 5 years since I started my private practice. During residency and fellowship, I didn't have these lines. I know that once I could afford those expensive anti-aging cosmetics from Clinique, I would need to get hold of the whole line. And so my first professional fees went into paying for my facials and those facial lotions, cleansers and creams that I prayed so fervently would retard aging.

Call me vain but I wanted to stay young forever.

But as luck would have it, the call of success would take a toll on my physical appearance. It was like, one day I suddenly woke up and couldn't understand what happened to me all those years. Who is this guy in the mirror? He looks so old.

And so I began the search for the fountain of youth. I tried all the different caviars and Strivectins my poor face and skin could take. Then the added pounds started to show. I was not a health buff, but I needed to find a way to get rid of this extra poundage.

Off to the gym I went. I tell you, beginning a work out regimen at the age of 40 is no joke. It's like my body was telling me - who are you kidding? And I was going to beat the odds. (Wishful thinking was driving me bananas!) I hired a personal trainer to keep me disciplined with my workout. The gym dues were not that expensive, but together with the trainer, that was a killer on the pocket! I would shell out almost P7500 every month, and I paid 6 months in advance so that I wouldn't drop out of the gym. It would pain me to get on the treadmill and lift weights. But not as painful as it would hurt my pocket for the gym and trainer dues.

Then there were the supplements. Whey protein, vitamins, arginine, creatine, fat burners, electric stimulators on the abs, by golly, you name it, I've tried it. And there went my credit card bills. I made GNC practically rich!

It wasn't only the body. The face was also taking a toll. Where did these crow feet across my eyes come from? OMG! Clinique wasn't working anymore. It was time to shift from one cosmetic brand to another. Shu Uemura, Lancome, Estee Lauder, Clarins - Where was the magic wand of science?

A friend of mine told me that today, there is nothing that science cannot do.

Sob sob sob....and the clock just ticks and ticks away...

Sob sob sob...no more six pack abs, no more 24 inches waistlines, no more teeny bopper look...

Another look in the mirror...sighhh...how fast time flew, now that I'm 52...and counting down to my very privileged senior citizen discount card...

Science will probably work wonders at preserving my youthful look for, hopefully another 10 years and I will look back and wonder where those abs went or those lines grew and the gray hair started to grow and hopefully laugh and look back in the mirror and say - it was the journey stupid!

Young, Fast, Furious and Dead

Jason Ivler, Mark Dizon, Ivan Padilla - they're just a few names that have seen their claim to fame in the newspapers lately.

What do they have in common? They're all young, good-looking, come from supposedly well-to-do families, are from broken homes, are into drugs and women, live life in the fast and furious lane.

Mark Dizon is 28 years old and has been arrested as the primary suspect in a string of serial killings among foreigners who have married Filipino wives and living in the Philippines in Angeles City. So far, the death toll was 10 before he was captured. The gruesome murders alarmed the once sleepy town in Pampanga. Without remorse, this young man who claimed to be a computer technician and reflexologist in his spare time became one of the most wanted prior to his being caught for the alleged crimes.

The other day, Ivan Padilla, 23 years old was gunned down after a supposed showdown with the police when they gave chase to a car which he recently jacked from a call center agent in Alabang. Padilla, who had registered home address at the posh Forbes Park and Ayala Alabang was noted to be seen in the company of the once notorious Alabang Boys, whose infamy was riddled in robbery and drugs as well. Today, the press reports that the company of Padilla are actually a string of men and women whose ages range from 20-30 years old. The females are all sexied up and are usually seen in "gimmik" places or where the young people party most often till the wee hours of the morning. Padilla, with his matinee idol looks took a bullet in the head and died in the shoot out.

The high profile stories published in the newspapers are not limited to our country nor are they limited to the rich and famous as well. Obviously, because they are unknown, the majority of the crimes committed by the youth are not published as the media arbitrarily defends that they are inconsequential and would prefer to devote more space of the rift between Philippine Air Line and the pilots and cabin crew.

What happened to our youth? If the attitude and perception of the youth of today are towards materialistic gains by making a quick buck through a crime, then there must be something wrong with the way society has made it seem this way. Perhaps to a large degree, media has made an impression that to have money is all that there is to in life - in order to be glamorous and beautiful. Even the ugly ducklings have simply gained "pogi points" based on the kind of car they driver. Never mind that the guy is pudgy and ugly, so long as he's behind a Lexus.

But I believe that beyond all the media marketing and advertising is the role model that our families provide. Good boys and girls gone bad is NOT simply an overnight sensation. It is a reflection of the kind of family that one grows up in. Our youth get hooked on drugs not because of the company they keep but the company that does not keep them well at all. As parents, some of us are too busy making money that it has become the central theme of not coming home to be with the family even for important events during your child's growing years. And as parents (or grandparents, at that) wallow themselves in "all work and no play" in the name of money, we teach our children this kind of value - that what matters most is the cash we make, no matter how we make it.

We cannot keep blaming technology for what it has delivered to us today. Whether the world wide web has provided us with more access to either information or disinformation, is not the problem. It is, after all, whether we have fulfilled our duties and responsibilities as parents that matters. I have always said that we can go on blaming the world and the walls for all our woes but forget to look at ourselves to see if the problem has been us in the first place.

And then there are the parents who will use their children to get rich or justify the fact that their children have "talent" and need to cash in on these "talents" no matter how idiotic they are. It's alright if they skip class in favor of a slot in WOWOWEE or EAT BULAGA or SHOWTIME or PILIPINAS GOT TALENT or whatever reality show there is, as long they bring home money. It's no wonder why thousands and thousands push, pull, and shove their way into a TV show in the hope that they will become tomorrow's star!

I have nothing against wealth and the amassing of more wealth. The saying that "the end does not justify the means" is most apt in this scenario. I have nothing against stardom. There are those that have talent and rightfully deserve their place in the sun. There are those, however, that have no talent at all and are pimped into prostituting just their looks and body so that they can achieve fame and fortune.

There are many other people like them out there that idolize life in the fast lane. I will not pass judgement to their cases, but in reality, their answer to infamy is to living life while they are young. Here today, dead tomorrow.

Envy - it's about the I, Me, and Mine!

There is something terribly wrong with this picture.

I remember I had a student in medical school who was a scholar for and on behalf of an organization. When I asked him during the interview why he applied for the scholarship, he told me that he had always dreamed of being a doctor. When the Asian Financial Crisis hit the country, his father was out of work. The real estate business was badly hit. And his dream fell apart.

Nothing wrong in the picture? Take a closer look.

He detested his father for his current problem. He was now on his own, begging for money so that he can continue his dream. He refused to give in to his siblings who were also in school. He insisted that his siblings stop schooling (even if they were undergraduates), so that he can finish his medical school. I told him that it should actually be him who should temporarily stop school because medical school is a postgraduate course and because he has already a college degree, it should be his priority to give in to his two other siblings - one who is still in high school, and the other an undergraduate in nursing. He was adamant that it should be him who has priority. After all, he had the highest academic achievement in the family.

He got the scholarship. He did well in medical school. But it was strange that he remained estranged to his family. In the four years in medical school, he never acknowledged his father for any gains made.

His story is no different from many young children today.

They grow up in families that have had a surmountable amount of cash overflowing. When the bubble broke, the children were left in limbo, wondering why once upon a time they were able to get all the material things their hearts desired but are now dirt poor. They feel that their parents (or at least one of them) were to blame.

I have a relative who had a thriving business in the 90s. My uncle believed that education was not everything and that pure luck was responsible for one's fate. He declared that he was a self-made businessman and his business savvy was the reason for his success. It was the reason why he felt that his children did not need good education. After all, they would inherit his business when he retired. He gave his children all the material things in life. And they enjoyed all these while the good times lasted. When the chain of large hardware depots opened, the customers began to disappear. His smaller store could not compete with the much lower prices the bigger stores had to offer. In less than 5 years, he had to mortgage then sell his house and other assets. His youngest son was still in college. When his other siblings had talked to the youngest boy to move to another school because they were in so much financial difficulty, the boy was adamant. He was going to either run away from home or kill himself if he did not finish school in this exclusive and highly priced school on Taft Avenue! And no, he was not going to work part-time. He did not want to see his classmates think they were poor. He hated his life, his parents, his siblings.

The two stories run parallel to each other. Peer pressure plays a formidable role in the development of envy among the youth. They must have the toys, gadgets and gimmicks their peers have. There is a direct correlation between the kind of peer groups your children hang out with. Most (if not all), who are exposed to the "good life" would prefer to stick to that reputation.

While there is nothing wrong with ambition, I believe that children should be raised on the premise that they need to earn for their success. In short, nothing should be given on a silver platter. Children should realize the merits of hard work so that the goals are sustainable even without their parents. There is nothing wrong with having less in life yet maintaining one's dignity. Majority of the Filipino families do not raise children on this premise. They will give away things so that their children will not look poor in the eyes of their "amigas". They will flaunt what little they have in order to "keep up with the Joneses".

Even the "emerging families" from OFWs are the same. Many count their chickens before the eggs are hatched. So much so that the families become devastated when the OFW meets a catastrophic fate in a land far away. Notice how much wailing there is when an OFW dies or is incarcerated? It is not about the OFW that they are crying over, but rather the family back in the Philippines. Who will now pay for the house, the clothes, the schooling, the cell phone, the cable, the car?

There are fewer and fewer stories about how success comes out of hard work and the painstaking road we take to reach our goals in life. This is the road less traveled by the youth of today. There are lesser Efren Penafloridas or Manny Pacquiaos rather than Chris Tius and Derek Ramsays. You can see how long the queues are for every talent and reality show all because they want to be recognized and probably become overnight millionaires, sensations or stars - sometimes to the extent of selling their flesh or doing drugs.

Perhaps we need to go back on making our youth refocus on what is essential in life and how to make them survive in this dog-eat-dog world, yet maintaining their sense of morality and humanity. The great shift of "girls just want to be bad" and "bad boys rule" is a world built on envy and the way we rear our children with so much materialism is partly the problem on the why their world is all about the I, the Me, and the Mine.