The top 5 text messages that drove me crazy!

So I get text messages from mothers who have issues or concerns or queries about their kids health.

While some of them deserve immediate medical attention, most of them are the mundane or stupid (excuse my comment).

I selectively picked the most stupid and irritating and annoying. There are times that I don't even want to answer the text message. But my conscience gets the better of me.

So you judge for yourself which should be the top irritating text message from parents (I saved them then decided to delete them after I blogged). The message in parentheses are just my wishful thoughts which I wanted to text back but did not.:

1. 930PM
M (mom): Si baby nag thu-thumb suck. Bakit kaya?
R (reply): Ewan. Baka gutom.
M: Tinatanggal ko pero umiiyak pag inaalis ko ang thumb niya.
R: Huwag mo ng tanggalin.
M: Di ba masama mag-thumb suck?
R: Bigyan mo na lang ng gatas.
M: Na-i-istress ako sa pag thumb suck niya doc.
(AKO DIN, NA-I-STRESS SA PAG TEXT MO)
R: Dalhin mo na lang sa clinic bukas at paliwanag ko sa yo.
M: Next month na lang pag check up niya. Ano kaya puede ko gawin in the meantime?
(SAPAKIN MO ANAK MO)
R: Wala. Ikaw na lang mag-suck ng thumb niya.

2. 130AM
M: Pasensiya na kayo magtatanong lang. Iyak ng iyak si baby. Natataranta kami dito sa bahay. Nagagalit na si lola at kanina pa umiiyak anak ko. Bakit kaya siya umiiyak? May kabag ba? Ok ba ang acete de mansanilya?
R: Baka gutom o basa. Paki tingin.
M: Napadede ko na pero pagkatapos ng dede eh umiiyak pa din.
R: Pakidala na lang sa clinic mamayang hapon.
M: Naku eh baka naman puede magreseta muna kayo ng gamot.
R: Para sa?
M: Para tumigil ang pagiyak niya.
(LAGYAN MO NG UNAN ANG MUKHA TIGNAN NATIN KUNG DI TUMAHIMIK YAN)
R: Dalhin niyo sa emergency room.
M: Ngayon?
(NEXT YEAR)
R: Yes. Ask the resident to check the baby.
M: Wala pa asawa ko. Walang magdadala sa amin.
(AND I SUPPOSE MAY BIBILI DIN NG GAMOT. TALAGA NAMAN)
R: When your husband comes home take the baby to the hospital.

3. 1125PM
M: Elvis, 3 years old, has fever and cough for 5 days. What to give?
(DIOS MIO. 5 DAYS NA MAY SAKIT AND YOU DECIDE TO TEXT CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT?)
R: Paracetamol. Bring to the clinic tomorrow.
M: May exam siya bukas sa school.
(OMG! 3 YEARS OLD MAY EXAM? ANO YAN COLLEGE NA? NAMPUCHA NAMAN)
R: No school muna. Bring to clinic tomorrow.
M: Naku, may honor pa naman siya. Di siya puede mag-absent.
R: No school! Bring to clinic tomorrow.
M: Puede yung nabigay mong antibiotic last year?
(HOMICIDAL ANG NANAY NA TOH!)
R: No. Bring to clinic tomorrow.
M: Kawawa naman anak ko.
(TALAGANG KAWAWA. TANGA YUNG NANAY KASI)

4. 3AM
M: Doc, 10 x na nagtatae at 5 x na sumuka si baby kahapon. What to do?
R: Bring to the ER
M: Walang gamot?
R: Bring to the ER so the baby can get assessed.
M: Meron akong Ercefuryl. Gamot ng aking pamangkin. Puede ba yon?
R: Bring to the ER. If he keeps having diarrhea and continues to vomit, he will get dehydrated.
M: Kasi baka panis na yung gatas.
(AND WHO PREPARED THE MILK? AKO BA? SUSMARYOSEP)
R: Can't tell unless you take the patient to the ER. Have the resident assess him and they will call me.
M: Sige doc, observe ko muna baka mawala.
(ANAK NG TIPAKLONG TALAGA. GRRRRRRRR)

5. 2AM
M: Hi Doc. Ask lang ako kasi may nakapa akong bukol sa puwet ng anak ko (7 years old). Anong puedeng ipahid?
R: Wala. Bring to the clinic later.
M: Kasi katabi niya si lola at nagaaala si nanay baka cancer daw.
(CANCER? BAKA PIGSA LANG YAN. AT ANONG GINAGAWA NG NANAY MO NANGANGAPA SA ANAK MO NG MADALING ARAW? PEDOPHILE YATA YANG MATANDANG YAN)
R: I don't think so. Baka pigsa lang.
M: Di makatulog si nanay. Nagpapatext sa inyo.
(BIGYAN NG VALIUM YANG NANAY MO)
R: Bring to clinic later. Kung cancer yan eh hindi ako nagrereseta ng chemotherapy sa text!
M: Ganun? Nakakatakot naman.
(OO. NAKAKATAKOT KAYO MAGING MAGULANG)
R: Wala yan. Bring to clinic later for check up.

These are but some of the weird text messages I got over the week. Nothing is more stressful than having to answer them "nicely". Seriously, I think these people think that we're text buddies and that I don't sleep. Geez! Some people have got to get a life. But if you happen to be a pediatrician who really likes entertaining these loonies, let me know. I would be more than happy to transfer these patients to you.