Bitching 101 - Showbiz Pinoy (Part I)

Kung meron man pinagkakaabalahan ang Pinoy, mas matindi pa sa pulitika, eh showbiz yon. Maniwala man kayo o hindi, ito ang puno't dulo ng patayan at pantasya ng bawat Pinoy.

Pustahan tayo na yung mga kababayan natin na taga ibang bansa eh talagang nakadikit pa din sa TFC (The Filipino Channel). Masugid silang sumusubaybay sa bawat kilos at tsismis na nangyayari dito sa ating bansa.

Mantakin mo, kahit na pumunta ang mga jologs na artista na yan sa Amerika, eh talagang dinudumog ng mga kababayan natin. Parang mga asong ulol na hayok na hayok sa balita, makita lamang ang mga artista na hindi man lang marunong kumanta, sumayaw o kumain ng bubog.

Kaya chikahan na tayo ngayon!


1. Away ni Ruffa at Kris. Nag-walkout si Ruffa sa set ng The Buzz nung isang linggo. Paiyak iyak pa ang hitad. Tumawag ang nanay ni Ruffa at pinaalis siya sa set ng The Buzz. Nanggigilait sa galit at kung ano anong sumpa at salita ang lumabas sa bunganga ni Anabelle. Eh ano pa nga ba ang inaasahan ninyo sa isang palengkera? Ika nga, kahit na anong gawin mo sa yagit, bihisan mo man ng ginto at pilak, eh yagit pa din. At ang mga bading na paparazzi eh sugod mga kapatid sa restorant na pinagiiyakan ni Ruffa. Mga bading na ang nagharapan. Ang humarap sa mga reporters ay si Tabatsinang bading na naka pamewang pa. "Iwanan ninyo ang aking kaibigan." Pwe!! Ngayon lang yata na spotlight ang mantika ni taba. Grabe! Kaya nga pangit ang mga nakapaligid kay Ruffa eh baka matalbugan siya. Sa totoo lang, agaw pansin lang yang si Ruffa. Kung tutuusin, pa-laos na yan. Wala ng kukuha sa kanya. Laspag na. Matanda na. In short, a HAS BEEN. Eh tandain ninyo, yan ang palabigasan ni Anabelle nuon sariwa pa siya.

Eto naman si Kris eh talagang taklesa (tactless) queen! Kunwari maawa effect, at paiyak iyak. Sa totoo lang, di yan magpapatalbog. Kahit na sinong guest ilagay ninyo diyan, pagkatabi ni Kris, eh malamang talbog sa kanya. Silang dalawa lang ni Boy Abunda ang nagkakaunawaan. Sa totoo lang, mahilig talagang mang-okray si Kris. Magaling siya diyan. Kung meron lang gagawang talk show na walang ginawa ang host kundi mang-okray, puwes para kay Kris yon. Kahit na yung Deal or No Deal ni Kris nuon -- hanggang sa damit, sapatos, kuko, buhok ng contestant...ay naku...kung manlait yang babaeng yan, eh parang siya lang ang may karapatan mabuhay sa mundo!

Ewan ko ba. Napanuod ko naman yung segment na pinagawayan (DAW) nila. Eh napakababaw. Kailangan lang talagang gumawa ng grand exit itong si Ruffa. At siempre, may eksena si Anabelle. Di ko lang alam kung bakit nasama ang baklang tabatsina na nagdadabog habang humahagulgol si Ruffa.

Sa totoo lang, yung pinagsasabi ni Anabelle sa GMA7 nung ininterview ng isa pang chikadora na intrigera si Pia Guano eh talaga naman nakaka-high blood! Asal palengke, asal walang pinagaralan, at asal bugaw talaga!

All's well that ends well ika nga. Kaya etong linggo, abangan si Greta (Gretchen Barretto) na papalit kay Ruffa sa The Buzz! Ang tanong, kaya ba ni La Greta taubin si Kris?

At sa takbo nga ng showbiz talk show na eto, eh baka naman magaway away na naman ang mga matrona ng showbiz!

2. Hunks galore? - Dios mio! Yan lang ang masasabi ko.

Ngayon ay nagpapatalbugan na ng katawan, hindi ang mga girls, kundi ang mga boys (kuno) sa showbiz. Pakitaan na ng bukol ng brip. Pakitaan na ng abs at konting bulbol. Pakitaan ng puwet at konting sinag ng ari! Aray ko! At ang mga lalaki (kuno) ay nagpapatalbugan na sa rampa! Salamat kay Ben Chan, ang mga lalaking pokpok at mga paminta (macho gays) ay nagsipag sulputan na parang mga kabute.





At ito din ang dahilan kung bakit ang dami dami daming bakla ngayon sa showbiz! Hindi bilang reporter lang ha, kundi mga artista din. Yung mga pa-macho effect sa masa, pero sa likod ng mga sinehan o gaybar, sila yung mga sumisigaw ng DARNA!!!

Walang masama naman dito. Raket raket lang yan. Tamaan ng kidlat ang mga nagbabalatkayo!

3. Talentadong Pinoy vs Pilipinas Got Talent - Yung una ay yung generic version ng syndicated show Pilipinas Got Talent. Para makatipid, eh ginaya lang ng Talentadong Pinoy ang format ng ___ Got Talent na isang franchise show sa iba't ibang bansa.



Dito magaling ang Pinoy. Nagpapakita ng kung ano anong gilas. Mula sa pagkain ng bubog hanggang sa pagtula, kanta, sayaw, padyak, hubad, ay madre mia! Naalala ko tuloy na ang mga baklang perya na sobrang galing umupo sa mga barya na nasa taas ng isang boteng beer. Uupuan nila ang mga barya (mga 20 yan) at isasaksak sa puwet nila at isa isang iluluwa parang alkansiya. Bakit kaya di sumali ang mga yan? Mas talentado pa yan kesa sa mga ngongo na kumakanta noh!

Parehong format yang dalawang palabas na yan. Kaya kitang kita ninyo ang daming talent talaga sa Pinas! Dalawang channel pa ang nagpapakitang gilas. Isa sa mga judges sa Talentadong Pinoy ay si Ruffa. At isa sa mga judges ng Pilipinas Got Talent ay si Kris. Parehong oras. Parehong araw. Ibang channel nga lang.

Nagkataon lang ba o talagang magsasalpukan pa din ang landas ng mga ito?

At para sa inyong palaisipan...sa tatlong show hosts na lalake, isa ay lalakwe...hulaan ninyo!


Itutuloy...

Ford County - the shorts of grisham

For those who are unfamiliar with John Grisham, this may not interest you.

But I am a fan and no matter how tawdry some critics think about his writing, there is that part of me that is fascinated by his fiction and page-turning writing prowess.

Ford County is his latest book. It is his first compilation of short stories. In fact, they are 7 short stories which lack a plot twist, a literary surprise, or even decorous descriptions that requires so much immersion into a book that would merit attention from Oprah. If there is one thing that Grisham does well, is tell a story. And while most of his published books center on courtroom drama and fiction, his 2006 novel The Innocent Man, a true to life story of a misguided mission by law enforcers that sends a man to death row, showcased the writing prowess of Grisham. His ability to tell a story, the way a story should be told is without doubt his forte.

The short story collection is set in Ford County, Mississippi, a deja vu to the setting of his first novel, A Time to Kill.


The seven short stories include:
1. Blood Drive - a construction worker named Bailey gets into an accident in Memphis. His mother who lives in some hillbilly county called Box Hill, and is invalid bawls at the tragedy and soon the whole town has poor Bailey's accidental injury turn into a hell of a circus through rumors that he now lies dying. The folks at Box Hill gather three young but confused youths who get on a truck on a mission of donating blood to the supposedly dying Bailey. The drive to save Bailey ends up with more humor and tragedy on the youngsters in this escapade.

2. Fetching Raymond - tells of the final days of Raymond Graney. The sad and chaotic lives of the 3 sons of Inez Graney are intertwined and confusingly revealed in the 3 hr trip from Clanton to Parchman Prison where Raymond is in his last few days prior to his execution. And then unwinding of the Graney lives as they bring back to Ford County, Clanton the body of Raymond after the execution.

3. Fish Files - is the story of Mack Stafford, a lawyer whose married life was on the brink of destruction and a career that seemed to go nowhere. How Grisham makes Stafford disappear from the face of the earth is as heart pounding as it gets. And it is such an envy to have prepared oneself into going into oblivion and then starting life anew.

4. Casino - tells the story of one of the dullest man to live with. His wife dumps him to make a life for herself and shacks up with one of the most ruthless businessmen in the industry. Instead of turning the tragedy into a misfortune, his card counting ability is what makes this story of vengeance and triumph a standing ovation in the end.

5. Michael's Room - tells of a client's revenge on a scheming lawyer Stanley Wade. Wade is always in for the win. Wade has never lost a court case even if the doctor accused in the wrongful act is as guilty as daylight. Which leaves a family of a mental retardate take Wade on a private courtroom drama, in Michael's room...this time with Wade's fate - to live or die - on the line.

6. Quiet Haven - is the story of a shameful crook that takes advantage of senior citizens in a nursing home. The latter are forgotten even by their own relatives, the circumstances of which allows this crook to manipulate their emotional weaknesses and abandonment for his ulterior plan.

7. Funny Boy - is the most poignant of all. Set in the early 80s when AIDS was a death sentence and where people ostracized those afflicted with the disease because of lack of knowledge about it, it tells the story of Adrian Keane, a homosexual white boy who has AIDS from his sexual indiscretions and goes home to Clanton to die. The Keane family agree with a Miss Emporia, a 75 year old black spinster that should she take care of the young man till his death, the house where Miss Emporia is living in now would be hers. The final months of Adrian's life forms not only a bond of understanding and friendship but serves as the conduit to freedom - not of Adrian, but of Miss Emporia, when Adrian passes away.

It is a must read and is light reading material. Each chapter has one characteristic ending - that it leaves the reader wondering what else can happen to the story. It's as real as real life gets - and leaves you hanging and wanting for an ending.

I guarantee that once you've started the short stories of Grisham, you will not be able to put it down.

But it's the kind of book you'll want to pick up in an airport, for your next flight as it is as entertaining as it gets. You won't even know that the flight is over even before you've finished the book.

Yagit

Translated means the poorest of the poor.

And so Joey Salceda, Albay Governor, has formally declared that more Filipinos suffer from hunger, and more Pinoys are poorer today than they were before Ate Glo became president.

Ironically this is contrary to what the people in the Palace were declaring. It is also contrary to what Ate Glo was claiming in her paid advertisements on her accomplishments as president of the Philippines for the past nine years.

The answer of the people in the Palace? "It could have been worse!"

Sanamagan country. Can anyone really explain this kind of excuse? Jeez, I would have thought the people in the Palace would reply - "Oh we're sorry for stealing and eating thousand dollar steaks and going out of the country to watch Pacquiao fight using taxpayers money". Nope. They go ahead and say, "well, it could have been worse."

Such shitty reply deserves multiple slaps on the face of every public official that has stolen from the coffers of the nation!

But the Pinoys are forgiving (or the majority are poor and have congenital
Alzheimer's) that they are actually being misled by the jingles of Manny V that he is the Moses who will deliver us from all the poverty.

According to Salceda, the poor have become poorer and the rich richer. Among the CEOs and executives of the top 1000 corporations in the country, their wealth has grown anywhere from 15-25% in the last 6 years.

That leaves Juan de la Cruz either peddling in the streets, hunting for jobs OUT OF the Philippines, committing crime, joining noontime game shows and gambling their hard earned peso in the lotto to get rich quick, doing drugs to forget the pathetic living, or joining the bandwagon of elective officials in the upcoming elections!

Here in the Philippines, every election year is categorically classified as sex and violence. They shoot each other even for a petty position as Barangay Tanod!!

Poverty is a social condition brought about by graft and corruption. It's not that not enough taxes are collected. It's that graft and corruption has plunged people into being so poor that the taxes collected do not translate to better roads, better education, better health care, better infrastructure...

Politicians live in Palaces. That, is a given. I have two new neighbors - one is a congresswoman and the other is a retired general. Their houses occupy over 1000 sqm of prime property. They were completed in less than 6 months. With what they make in their elective positions each month, even with combined salaries, they cannot afford to buy a government subsidized housing project.

It's the reason why the promise the moon and the stars to every gullible yagit - jingling all the way, asking different denominations to vote for them, paying movie stars to endorse their candidacies - because of the power, the glory and the money!

In short, RAKET ang politika (politics is a racket), in this country.

Perhaps, politics in dirty in many countries of the world as well. That does not excuse us from following these shitheads.

The gap between the rich and the poor has actually thinned out. The middle class is mostly in exile - in other countries as OFWs.

Once the gap is gone, a revolution will occur sooner or later.

And the Yagit, in sheer numbers, whom we have used and abused over the years, will always win!

Anonymous

Hey, fuck you, you are a big big asshole. You think you are good but you are really not. You are so fake. From Me.

I was amused that I ticked off someone with my blog on AI. This was the comment I received from this blog.

While blogging and writing can receive both good and bad comments, reactions like these only show how immature the responses of some readers are.

Of course I do not expect good reviews. The blog is opinionated and every reader in entitled to his or her own opinion, much in the same way that the blogging is opinion-based as well. But that is what writing is all about. It expresses that freedom which many of us dish out so freely, because it is what it is. And you can counter argue that the comment left by the reader is his/her opinion as well.

I will not argue with whoever commented in the above manner. However, anyone who curses and uses such vile language and writes down his pseudonym as Anonymous is humor to me. They actually have no balls nor brain to make a constructive criticism as well. But thank you Anonymous for visiting my blogsite. And to give you credit, I have dedicated one blog article just for you. Imagine that! You should be proud I even took the time to give you space when no space is needed for ghosts like you.

People like "Anonymous" should and will remain as such. They have no contribution to society, except to stay as anonymous. Their opinions don't matter. And anonymity is tantamount to non-existence in this world.

N.B. What is fantastic about technology is that I have installed care of Sitemeter.com, a counter (and more) for my blogsite. This counter identifies who and where my comments are coming from. Click on the sitemeter below each page and you'll know what I mean. I think everyone should install this, as it is free and you can find out where the followers and the noisemakers are coming from.

AI the 9th and hopefully LAST season

Alright, so I'm a fan of American Idol.

That was then.

From seasons 4-8, I was one of the millions that surreptitiously followed AI all the way from the auditions till the crowning glory.

And I have never agreed with the Americans on their choice of winners except for Jordin Sparks.

Simon Cowell puts it bluntly and truthfully - this is, after all, a singing contest.

But the voting online has cast so much doubts on who is the rightful owner of the plum prize. Perhaps saying that those who rooted for the winners were (or are still) tone deaf is actually a kind comment.

And season 9 has been the biggest disappointment. For everyone who has been following the elimination rounds from the top 24 to the top 20, darn, some of them were not only out of tune, but out of sync. And, by popularity, they remained in the competition...off to either fight another day or to make viewers lose interest eventually.

Has America lost talent in looking for better singers?

This has been the worst of the Idol seasons. Adding even the new judge Ellen Degeneres has been a problem for me. While I like Ellen in her talk show, I think that as a judge, she should be more unbiased. She is a sore eye in the show as I don't know whether she is actually judging the competition or convincing people on whom to vote to stay or playing safe so that she doesn't lose viewers for her talk show. So much for trying to swim in two oceans at the same time.

Truth be told, while the erstwhile judge Paula Abdul was not a great judge as well (as she praised everyone who made it to the semifinals), Degeneres must find a place in the sun and like her comments to the contestants, I don't think Degeneres is cut out to be a judge for the competition as well. She flip flops and even her choices are a big DUH!!! She even comments at the end of each performance on who the audience should vote for to stay. If you don't believe me, rewind to all the previous shows.

Degeneres may have "discovered" the "talent" of local singer Charice Pempengco, but even the latter is not laden with enough talent. While Charice can sing, she has a hard time pronouncing the lyrics well enough for the song to be appreciated. And she does not have the charisma in a concert. After a few songs, Charice is good to go and falters in tone, diction and personality. Could Degeneres have been wrong in discovering singers, which is actually not her forte.

Which goes back to AI the 9th season.

It's all the same stuff. Perhaps I had higher expectations considering that Abdul has been replaced by someone more popular and Cowell is on his way out. Seacrest is as tacky as a host and has no surprises any longer. Perhaps he too is too old for the job.

And if you watch the show, the judges look like they are so disappointed with the contestants that they wouldn't care less who got booted out in the subsequent weeks.

And the songs...darn...I would not even waste precious money attempting to download on iTunes any of them. It was difficult enough to appreciate them during the competition, why do I want my iPhone to carry a screechy song?

One thing for sure, I will attempt to finish what I started with AI this season...but it gets to be more painful having to listen to these contestants screech in and out till the finals.

At the rate it is going, after they declare the winner for AI the 9th season, it may be lights out for the series as well.

Bitching 101 - Of idiots and morons

The Commission on Elections (Comelec) junked disqualification cases against Sen. Manuel "Lito" Lapid and world boxing champion Manny Pacquiao, whose candidacies in the May elections were questions for lack of academic credentials.


This was the front page of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

The disqualification case was filed by erstwhile disqualified presidential aspirant and lawyer, Ely Pamatong. In his arguments, Pamatong claimed that reelectionist Lapid was "hardly educated" and knew little about lawmaking, while congressional aspirant Pacquiao was "mentally very poor and not prepared to step into the ring of legislation".

While some may lament that Pamatong himself may be a nuisance candidate, he actually has lucid intervals such as these. For these points made, I agree with him. And while the Comelec insists that there is actually no justifiably solid case to prove that Lapid and Pacquiao are not "qualified" candidates, they further rebut by saying that "a high IQ is never a gauge of good public service." The Comelec added that "a candidate's high educational attainment has never been held as qualification for public office. To be sure, the quality of public service which an elected official can render is not measured by the level of his intelligence."

So much for the Galing at Talino campaign of Gibo.

While I have no interest with Ely Pamatong and his bewildered quest to become a presidential aspirant, I have to agree with him on this matter.

And disagree with the Comelec.

Lapid has served as a nuisance senator over the past 6 years. He sits there in the senate, with an iota of contribution to whatsoever transpired in the senate halls. It is a waste of resources of the public, particularly hard earned money by taxpayers like me. While he may have been elected by the jologs of Philippine society, I am willing to bet that majority of his votes come from the freebie groupies. They are the ones who do not even pay taxes - the jobless, the mendicants, the flying voters - the one's who I have time and again said, have no right to vote.

And I am solid on this take. People who do not pay taxes should not be allowed to vote. It is shameful that the politicians use our hard earned taxes to pay for idiots and morons who do nothing but sleep on the job.

Which goes to the point of improving and setting a minimum level of academic achievement for those running for specific public offices. While it is true that you do not need to have a high IQ to be a good public servant, the thin line for discriminating who is qualified to run for public office should be at least one that is respectable. If we were to follow the argument of the Comelec, does that mean that I can include a Down's Syndrome and Autism party list, with candidates who have both Down's and Autism as their party representatives?

Even entry into pre-school, grade school, high school and colleges have a minimum criteria. Qualifications matter. Even when one works, one must have minimum entry criteria otherwise we'd be getting call center agents with terrible accents, front desk officers that finished grade school, chefs that can only cook fried rice and fried eggs...What more those that enter the political arena?

Pamatong was actually disqualified and declared a nuisance because of scant financial support. He may have the greatest wish to annex the Philippines as the 52nd state of the United States, but what is so wrong in giving up the sovereignty of a country on the verge of extinction because of massive graft and corruption?

Which means that the Comelec is actually accepting candidates not on the background of who is qualified but who has the means. #!?! sanamagan country!

And we blame our public officials for all the problems that our governmental system is laden with. Like our children that grow, we need to be nurtured by right parenting and the models must be good ones. If the Comelec has such an idiotic and moronic line of thinking, where do you think we will be 10 years from today? I have never, ever, ever, in my lifetime been so critical against public people in office as this line of thinking as our local Comelec.

The Comelec is right. You do not need people with high IQ to be in government. Look at the people in Comelec alone!

Skin deep

One of my favorite columnists Conrado de Quiros had a very interesting column today in the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

While I may disagree with him at times, I agree with him often as well.

The topic is titled Black and White.

"Jojo Binay came out last week painting it black. That was after the local Food and Drug Administration banned a shipment of skin whiteners from China containing high levels of mercury and steroids. Binay applauded the move but demanded to know why we needed skin whitening products at all, whether they contained safe amounts of chemicals or not. 'We are brown and should be proud of it'."

And I agree!

The other week I had a mother at my clinic asking me if it was alright for her 12 year old daughter to start on these skin whitening preparations. I retorted that there is no scientific evidence to this claim. As a matter of fact, glutathione is approved in Europe as an adjunct to the treatment of Parkinson's disease. It's side effect - it whitens the skin!

This mother went on rambling that her daughter was a fish out of water. She loved to swim! But she is dark colored. Then chastised her daughter by saying in front of me that the color did not look good on her. I felt like slapping her, because the girl was almost ashamed of her mom berating her in front of me. Dang this mother! Of course, I gave her a piece of my mind, which probably did not sound too well with her.

I told her that the natural color of our body is the color of our butt. That's the only one that's really not exposed to sun. And so what was so wrong with being brown? I've always wanted that darker hue, but my genetic make-up will not permit. I only burn when I attempt to get a tan. Boohoo!!!

But the commercialization of endorsers has actually made every Tomas, Ricardo and Haribon want to become 'white'! Even a gay boy has come out in an ad splattered all over the billboards, on the glutathione effect. My maids buy papaya whitening soap and insist that only Belo touches their skin. Never mind if they don't have money for food, as long as their skin is as white as Juday's! Dang!

What sells is that these endorsers seem to be making a killing at the financial gains, but the consumer is the ultimate dud who buys these stuff, even if there are no approved therapeutic claims.

And you can say the same about almost every product in the market - children who are fat (and at times obscenely obese) advertising hotdogs, multivitamins that will make you taller (even if your parents are Mura and Mahal), a Fit and Right drink that contains 70 calories per bottle but supposedly should make you get abs, or herbal preparations that will make you piss all those toxic waste or suddenly you can walk again, or even soft drinks that can make you happy just by opening the can!

de Quiros goes on saying that "No wonder we are the laughing stock of Asia. It's not just that we cannot keep up with our neighbors' prosperity, it's that we cannot crawl out of our caves. Hollywood of course has much to do with it. But even as Hollywood is slowly getting out of it, as indeed the US itself which voted its first black president a couple of years ago, we are not. While Hollywood is toasting the stars of "Slumdog Millionaire" and the Chinese actors and actresses of Ang Lee and Zhang Ziyou, we still think that being born to a mixed marriage, specifically with one of the parents being white, is a natural entitlement to becoming a star of the Philippine movies."

Those Fil-Ams or children from mixed caucasian marriages seem to be at an advantage when it comes to on screen appearance, but that's being superficial. Many of them get opportunities at local TV breaks, but stars like Charice Pempengco and Arnel Pineda are making a name for themselves in more competitive territories, while these lackies are trying their luck at the local channels.

We keep complaining about being discriminated against in other countries on the basis of color and height, openly or subtly depending on the country, and yet that's what we do right at home. We don't need other people to make us feel inferior, we do a perfectly good job of it ourselves. We laugh at the dark-skinned, the short, the kinky-haired, the flat-nosed, the beady-eyed, which are the characteristics of our race, and which did not prevent Jose Rizal from becoming one of the greatest men who ever lived. Why shouldn't other people treat us as inferiors when we deem ourselves to be so?

There is, after all, nothing wrong in trying our best to look beautiful exteriorly. At the end of it all, however, what matters most is how beautiful we are - skin deep.