Wishing to be happy

It takes loneliness to discover happiness. Emptiness to discover fulfillment. Sadness to find contentment. And confusion to find peace of mind.

The road to happiness is not easy. It is full of challenges and more often than not, we end up frustrated and in pain.

Someone once said that "people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they did not slow down to enjoy it." Happiness is relative to each of us. Some may find it in material things, of love lost and then found again and then lost again and then found again, of being cured from a terrible illness, of ambitions gained and winning a jackpot, of redeeming oneself from a wrong accusation, or simply achieving peace of mind after a battle with the evils from within.

When I was young, life was not easy for me and my family. My dad and mom seemingly had to make ends meet, for tuition fees for my sister and I. Celebrating an occasion - birthdays or christmases - would be frugal. During Christmas, my dad would drive us around the metropolis so we could see the various lantern displays and to COD in Cubao to see the mechanical display (in those days, this was considered the place to be) of toys a-dancing and a-singing. There was Holiday on Ice at the Araneta Coliseum, which served as our annual New Year holiday treat.

And I believed in wishing upon a star. Life was not easy for me growing up in an all boys school. The teasing and bullying hurt like hell, and there was no soft spot for me to cry on. I rarely made friends and because we probably were not both wealthy and I had gender problems, I was not popular in school. Focusing on my academics came easy, because it served as an outlet for all my misery. There was a loneliness that only I felt. Even coming home to parents who tried to make ends meet was a dreadful one.

I was surprised that in spite of the meager income, we had food on the table and a roof over our head. My dad made sure that we went to good schools. It was his way of giving us his share of happiness. As I grew older, I never waivered on the hope that some day, my more material and tangible wishes would come true.

Not all my wishes came in a silver platter. There were challenges that came along the painful journey of reality. There was love lost and love found. There was life lost and grief followed. There were questions more than answers. Yet in between the years and tears, I remained optimistic that someday I would look up to a clear night and close my eyes and wish all my might that all the pain would just go away.

I have come full circle in life, knowing now the lessons of wishing to be happy. There will be pain in our journey, but finding happiness and its true meaning is within us. Being happy is not about me. It's about other people. It's about accepting that things that are meant to be come together at the right time and at the right place. There is an alignment of all things that become our final journey - and wishes don't come instantly. It's the same way my parents saw it as they raised us. "Some people suffer but become amazing witnesses to all the graces in this world. Others go through the very same trial and become angry for the rest of their lives."

Remember: The sun that melts ice is the same that hardens clay.

The choice is left to us.

Of relationships and I dos

It is human nature, regardless of age, to seek for relationships.

Whether it is found in some dark alley or casual/formal introductions or from adopting parents or, in this day and age - online - the bottom line is: it is human nature to seek for love, even in the most unexpected places or circumstances.

I am sure that each of you have stories about love found and love lost. The circle of life dictates that as long as we breath, we attempt to find the Shangrila in our lives. Is there really one? Can we really find happily ever afters? Is there a relationship that has a love ever after ending?

Even married couples, in spite of vows to love and to hold, in sickness and in health till death do them part have storms that come along their way. Perhaps because of the contract they are attached to or for the sake of the children or conjugal properties and investments, they attempt to work out the differences in spite of the odds that come their way. Some manage to stay together, but there's quite a hefty number that prefer to go their separate ways - in search of new relationships.

What draws people together to form a relationship?

There are two drawing points. LOVE is one of them. This four-letter word seems to be widely used and, often time, abused. Of course, for some, the more intimate part called SEX is usually the first reason to get attached. Yet the latter usually dissipates more quickly than love. People in search for a wham-bam-thank-you-Sam will perpetually be in search of relationships that find no meaning except the exercise of their libido. Whichever it is, having the best of both worlds would probably be the perfect scenario. But the strongest bond is that of LOVE.

Unconditional love allows both parties to grow. Each may falter somewhere, but because there is real love in a relationship, it will allow each person to understand the shortcomings that come along the way. After all, no one is perfect. And with that said, it's always a good reminder that when relationships begin to falter, one should remember how a relationship started and where it is at today. Often times, we forget to assess how the relationship began. It is ironic how many of us forget this.

Every relationship is a work in progress. It's based on promises made with the one you've fallen in love with or exchanged "I do". And while promises made are meant not to be kept, there are those that are. Strangely, we often times don't know the person whom we enter a relationship with. While some people lay their cards on the table as you get to know one other, there will always be skeletons in the closet with others. Eventually, these are discovered and while we sweep them under the rug at times, more often than not, there are more dirty or dark secrets revealed WHILE you're in a relationship that lead to a state of misery.

So now you're in a Catch 22 scenario. You can't get out of it or you're in too deep or you're miserable with a BUT! It's strange that we begin to dwell on WHAT IFs and WHYs and WHY NOTs. One party wishes that the other party would just bolt the relationship to end all misery.

We forget that the reason why, as human beings, and as human nature dictates, that we continuously search for relationships because we search for happiness. I am willing to bet that once upon a time, you were both happy, without a care in the world. That many of us had sworn to even beat all odds. Oddly, when push came to shove, we shoved more than we pushed.

Relationships are built on trust, loyalty and understanding. Without the three there would not be a reason to be together. Whether the relationship is one of friendship or two people in love or even an adopted child or family, the three fundamental instruments of maintaining a sustaining and durable relationship without finding fault in every single act should be considered.

It is easy to move in and out of a relationship. After all, finding what makes you happy is the most important goal in life. But this is a selfish outlook on life. It's only fair that while we try to find our happiness, we take into consideration the happiness of others as well.

After all, even the "happily ever afters" began with "once upon a time".

Winning and losing

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Who could imagine that these 6 numbers could change the life of a 60 year old carpenter who lives in a squatters area in Las Pinas City in the Philippines? He only made one P20 ($0.40) bet on these numbers. According to the seller of the ticket, the carpenter was one of the last few bettors of the night in that crowded squatters area. A few hours after closing, he heard screams from the neighborhood, but simply thought it was an ongoing nightly brawl.

The following day, when the newspapers had printed the winning numbers, he knew that the winner bought the ticket from his place. The old carpenter won Php 356,552,917.20 ($8.3M) tax free. He never went back to the shanty he resided in. His whole family would go back to the province to start a new leaf on life.

There are many stories on Lotto winners not only in the Philippines but worldwide. The sudden surge of cash will definitely change the lives of many people. But while there are those whose lives are changed because of winning events like these, there are more who struggle with making ends meet each day - from having a decent meal to struggling with health issues and problems. Everybody loves a winner. The cheers and accolades add hope to the many that have to contend with the routine motto of "I owe, I owe, so off to work I go."

It's a fair reminder that happiness does not come in a silver platter.

The art of being happy lies in the power of finding joy in ordinary things. Life does not force us to be the best. To be the happiest. To be the luckiest. It only asks that we try.

The Italian wish "vive bene, spesso l'amore, di risata molto" should serve as our daily reminder to LIVE WELL, LOVE MUCH, LAUGH OFTEN.

After all, at the end of our lives, it's the journey that mattered to the winner.

Of gifts, happiness and walking away...our Singapore New Year

I spent the New Year with my family and partner in Singapore. It was a fitting cap to 2010. Perched on the roof top of the luxury boutique hotel - Naumi Hotel, we counted down to the fireworks amidst the splendor of Marina Bay, with champagne on one hand and canapes on the other.

The trip was a bonding of sorts - Universal Studios, shopping on Orchard, dining out, shopping on Bugis and Chinatown, eating out, shopping on Raffles, gastronomic experience. Of course, everyone who still had some cash left, shopped all the way to Changi Airport and onboard duty free on Singapore Airlines.

Naumi Hotel is a charming personal luxury hotel on Seah Street, right at the back (or side) of Raffles Hotel. The cab drivers definitely had a hard time looking for the hotel. It was a virtual unknown hotel to the locals. As a member of tablethotels.com, I had the opportunity to find a good hotel - swanky, personal and yes, fabulous location - at the heart of Singapore. I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to stay in a great hotel in Singapore. The personal touch, Molton Brown toiletries, the free minibar (sodas and water till you drop) and healthy breakfast is icing on the cake of the sprawling suites where the flat screen supersized TV sets are divided from the bedroom and living room and the bathroom shower has a rainshower head and a steam bath. Where the bedroom and living room has a divider controlled from your bedside panel. Where there beds have 7 layers and a menu of pillows to choose from. Where the lighting system can be controlled from romantic mood to study mood. Where wifi is free all over the hotel. But the selling point of Naumi is its great location and wonderful staff!

Universal Studios Singapore is a let down. For everyone that plans to go to Universal, may I suggest that you simply defer this until the whole place is finished (which I doubt will even be comparable to the US Universal Studios versions). It is tinier than HongKong Disneyland and quite expensive. For $65 per person per admission, the queue is so long that it would take you forever to enjoy a 50 second ride. I got the express land pass which meant an additional $48 per person. Of course, we didn't have to queue anymore so Universal was done in 2 hrs - rides, shows and shopping. Located at Resorts World Sentosa, unless you plan to play and stay at the Sentosa area for 2 days, then Universal should be in your wish list. But if you're just visiting Universal Studios and would not want to have anything to do with the casino and other sites at Sentosa island, skip Universal Studios.

As Singapore is at the equator, there is NO DAY that it does not rain in Singapore. Be ready with an umbrella or get ready to get really wet in Universal (not only from the rain but from the rides) or get wet while you're out shopping.

Marina Bay Sands is chic, but all hype. You need to be a guest at their hotel in order to have access to the pool at Skysands. Then again, if you're the spending kind and wouldn't want to stay at the casino cum hotel cum shopping mall, there's always the Skysands entrance at $20 per head. We had a sumptuous buffet lunch at $45++ per head at the Rise restaurant in Marina Bay Sands upon our arrival in Singapore. Unfortunately the restaurant was located in the lobby so access to Skysands restaurants was not allowed. The booking is a mile long and they have preferential booking for hotel guests.

Singapore is a revelation in itself. Sparklingly clean and safe, you could actually feel that it tries to achieve Nirvanah or Shangri-La where everything turns out to be perfect. I hate saying it, but too perfect to even be thrilled at anything. It's a country where business is business and where politics and graft and corruption is frowned upon. Where crime is deterred through severe punishment. Where drug trafficking is punishable by death (ironically, the Europeans don't even deter the death penalty in Singapore and even when they do, the Singaporeans tell them to just shut up and these die hard goodies just roll over shut up). Where laws are laws and rules are rules and no one, not even government officials are exempted from them. It's a country so ideal that it makes us cringe at the thought that we live in a third world country that is like a roller coaster ride with life and death.

Whatever I spent during this holiday spree (which was my gift to my family) cannot be measured in terms of seeing us all laugh, play, rest, and eat together. As the slogan goes - happiness is priceless, everything else there's Mastercard.

Which leads me to the end of this short blog.

The presents we give should be one out of love and from within our hearts. When we give presents, we must fade away quietly. We do not make a big fuss over these gifts and how generous we are. The real challenge in life is how to do something good and then exit or fade away quietly, how to live life and let go, how to play our role and do our part and then take a bow. That is how people will "notice our star when it has faded into the night."

And as we all start the new year, it is time to get back to work and save enough for the next gift for the coming year for my family. Again...

Finding meaning for Christmas

As I post this blog, it is Thanksgiving Day today...and exactly 30 days before Christmas 2010.

In the myriad of all the work load that I seem to be swamped with, I don't seem to feel the Christmas spirit.

Many of my friends and batchmates are busy preparing for the "Christmas" parties. Even at the office, there is the usual Kris Kringle with its weekly theme.

Outside, the malls are decked with all the glitters and lights. Some of my neighbors have actually put up their lanterns (Parols) and begun donning their gardens and trees in all gay apparel.

On my way home from the clinic last night, I watched some of the street children jingling their quarter full cans with coins. As I was looking outside the heavily tinted windows of my car, a child had stretched his face on the window hoping to get a glimpse of an occupant in the car who would probably pull out from his wallet a bill or a few coins to spare. As the rain came down hard on such a gloomy night, the young boy had scampered away in the dark. And all I could do was wonder where Dinky Soliman was in the middle of the rain....

As Christmas is around the bend, I tried desperately to search for the meaning of this yuletide season. As a matter of fact, truth be told, I always try to find some meaning for Christmas.

I asked my driver to put on the CD of Mariah Carey's new Christmas Album. In the stillness of the downpour and traffic, this song which I am posting gave me the goose bumps. I didn't know how to react or how to feel, but it felt so palpably surreal. Christmas is not about me...it's about someone who gave meaning to Christmas - one child made the difference. It was time to make mine.














When I got home, I asked the maid to bring out the Christmas Tree.

[video from YouTube.com]

Changing Lanes

There comes a time in your life when you need to make a difficult decision.

Someone once asked me, if I am happy with my life.

It took me quite some time to figure out the answer to the question.

My mind was playing with deductive reasoning. Is happiness and contentment the same?

Arguably, one can be contented but not necessarily happy. But does being happy mean that it's tantamount to contentment?

There have been several situations where I needed to decide on matter like these.

For many of us, who have done the same thing over and over again, I believe that we probably don't move out of that comfort zone - not because we are happy about it, rather, we are contented with what we have or where we are. So to put it, we refuse to rock the boat.

Work is one example. Career change when one reaches the age of say, 50 is a definite no no. But I know many people who have shifted from one profession to another, in the hope of finding better opportunities for themselves and their families. Doctors who decide to give up their practice to become nurses because of better financial opportunities in a foreign land.

I am a Mathematics major but my career shift to a medical degree and eventually to a subspecialty that probably has no career in a developing country like ours except in the academe was the highlight of my first lane change. When I had the opportunity to join a multinational pharmaceutical company, I was initially nervous. Was it going to be the right choice? What happens if I don't make it in the corporate world? At 48, this probably would have a devastating impact on my life if I failed. After 23 years with the academe, was it the wrong time or was midlife crisis sinking in?

I probably needed to push myself to see what I can do with my life. Contentment was not going to be an issue. I needed to be happy.

I have moved forward and never looked back since my decision to retire with the academe.

I still meet my students, friends, colleagues, and even teachers.

While there are still conversations on my leaving the teaching career and joining the corporate world, I have settled in nicely with this new found challenge.

Found new acquaintances. New colleagues. New friends. And yes, new teachers.

Even in relationships, the concept of changing lanes is applicable. Do we hold on to a relationship because we are contented or because we are truly happy? If we are simply contented because the relationship provides us a security blanket for some reason or another, are we holding on because of this or because the other partner makes you feel special, makes you feel real, makes you feel wanted, makes you feel important as well? Are you real partners in the relationship, or is it a one way street that you're traveling?

Believe me when I say that, the thought of changing lanes is scary. It takes a lot of courage to move from one busy lane to another. A piece of us just dies a little, only to make another part of us better and feel alive.

Just like a highway, you need to go with the flow you have chosen. You cannot keep changing lanes just because you want to go with the tide. You'll end up in circles and eventually get nowhere.

Or always back to square one. And end up being miserable all your life.

Remember, the final destination should take you home - to being happy.

Temporary home and utopias

"This is just a stop...to where i belong...this is my temporary home..."




Frances Jakelyn Abad is 15 and is a 4th year student at General Santos High School under the Special Program in the Arts major in Creative Writing. In Youngblood, the PDI column for contributors twentysomething and below, she writes about Utopia and seeing things from two perspectives - having it all (luxury car, mansion with pool, several maids and guards, great business, being King of the World) and having contentment.

"I guess seeing things in a positive way is the best way to be happy. Nowadays a lot of us think only of how to make money. Yes, money can make us happy - for a while. But does money buy us salvation when we die? Does money change the way God will judge us?...My teacher in Trigonometry and Statistics once said as she was writing the equation for the Growth Law (N=Noekt) - (that) you may have hundreds of money that multiply like a bacteria, but can you make it indestructible so that you can bring it when you die?..."

While listening to this song, it gave me goose bumps and left a lump in my throat. It made me realize that our life on earth is actually a terminal to our final destination, wherever it will lead us. At whatever age or stage in life, from birth to our growing years to our relationships and to our death bed, our stopovers are actually temporary homes.

I remember my youth, my hardships, my dad, my friends, those who have come my way...and have gone to a better place...

Our temporary home...sooner or later we will all be finally home.

The bitter or better half?

Since it's the heart month, February, I decided to dedicate my first blog of the month on relationships.

I am not THE expert nor AN expert on relationships. But I am simply sharing a piece of my mind on this.

There is no perfect relationship. There are many reasons why we end up with the one we share our life with currently. In this life, we all search for happiness.

From infancy to childhood, we look at the nurturing capacity of our parents and relatives. Our adolescent period is actually a struggle between dependence on material needs from our family and independence from their emotional baggage. It is the latter that we actually struggle from on our road to creating relationships with others - friends, peers, or lovers.

There is that first love or love at first sight or the eternal love. Whichever category you fall in, most of us (and I am the expert on this matter), search for THE ONE true love.

For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...till death do us part.

Which of these do we really adhere to? Some of us perhaps are bound by the piece of paper called marriage. At times, getting stuck in a rut or a relationship that sucks because of marriage can actually be detrimental not only to the couple but to the children that are caught in the eye of a stormy relationship. It is unhealthy to raise children in a relationship where parents see each others as enemies. There is no love at all. Hate is all that is shared.

In this age where same sex relationship is tolerated (or accepted) by societies, the same principle holds true. While same-sex marriage is not approved (in most countries), same-sex relationship ironically is likewise in search of the "happily ever after" endings as well.

It is human nature to want to be happy. It is human nature to want to be loved.

Unfortunately, our love stories are not like movies that have either happy endings or tragic ones. The movie puts a period in the imagination of the viewer. But the stories are real events in each of our lives, hence the storyline for romance films.

When my friends ask my for advice, I provide unbiased professional opinions after balancing each side. Of course, we will always be biased to who our friends are, but seriously, I provide good advice.

There are three cardinal rules I preach and follow when getting involved in a relationship.
1. Never get involved with the people you work with
2. Never get involved with people who are married or are already in a relationship
3. Never get involved with the people who work for you

People say that love comes from the most unexpected places. But one does not have to look desperate when searching for love. Love on a rebound, love by destroying other relationships on the brink of destruction, love for the sake of lust...these are the kind of relationships that will never last and will never bring happiness.

A relationship is borne on trust and respect. You need to respect the other person and be accountable for your actions. You need to trust each other and openly discuss faults and gains so that you can share each others weaknesses and not only each others strengths. A relationship involves two people, who not only love each other, but respect each other. The strength you draw from each other is tested at the most unexpected times...and it counts that both of you grow from the bond you have formed.

Which is why I've always loved this line when it comes to saying goodbye...which actually means that you've both said goodbye to all the pain and trials a relationship goes through.

there are days when I close my eyes and wonder why...a tear sometimes rolls down softly on my cheek and I wonder why...then a smile on my face tells me, now I know why...perhaps you've found happiness...and that's all that matters to me. Then I know that it's time...to say...goodbye...


And when you let the other go because he or she has found happiness, you too will realize that there will be closure in your own search for true happiness.

Think about it - Are you the bitter or the better half?



p.s. It's an old song...but listen to the lyrics...it shares so much of oneself in the search of love and happiness...

Is there a road to happiness?

There are good days. And there are bad ones. For some, each day can mean a better day. Others don't have such luck.

This is a respite from my usual blogging about politics or entertainment or drama in any form.

This morning, I was surprised to find my 10 year old dog, Genie, wagging her tail on my bedside. She has osteoporosis and now finds it difficult to walk on all fours. She manages to run around limping on three paws. The past weeks, her daily stroll around the village and to the chapel where she accompanies my mom has been downgraded to just simple strolls around the garden. I've taken her back and forth to the vet and the vet just says that it's natural for her old age to take a toll on walking. Every day seemed difficult for me and my mom to watch her limp around. But Genie has learned to live with her limitations. And every time I come home and my driver would honk the horn of the car, Genie would be at the window, wagging her tail and barking with joy that I am finally home. She looks up to me when I arrive home and waits for that proverbial pat in the head and the hug on her bulky body. Then she limps around in circles. Happy.

Happy.

This morning I looked at Genie and saw in her old droopy eyes happiness. And asked myself, what does it take to make one happy?

The material things we have are actually temporary provisions in keeping us stay in touch with the current world. A new iPhone, a MacAir, a new Accord, a brand new house, a trip to Europe, a million bucks, a diamond ring. You get one, you try to top it with the next. Our endorphins are wildly stimulated, temporarily, until it hits us that we're not happy with what we have and we need something new, something more, something else.

I am sure that all of us wake up to moments of emptiness. Another day. Breakfast. Driving to work. Working for the money. Going home. Another day. Some of us, nope, all of us, one time or another have wished we were in other people's shoes. What we forget is that many of those who eventually found happiness have taken the road less traveled. While there are a few who probably were born with a silver spoon, or had material things shoved to them by a stroke of luck or through graft and corruption, not all of us become contented with these temporary breaks of "happiness". And many of us have own stories to tell. Yet we fail to answer the big question - is there a road to happiness?

Contentment, many people believe is a parking stop for those who have no dream or ambition. I disagree. Contentment is an idling zone which all of us must make. It serves as a temporary pause that all of us must make to assess and reassess where we are with our stories in the journey called life.

In spite of Genie's temporary limitations, she had mustered enough joy today to jump up my bed and I gave her a great hug. Then my cat, K2, joined Genie in a group hug. Today, I woke up to a different view on my quest for the road to happiness. I know that like Genie, there will be ailments or bad luck that may come my way, but there is a road to happiness. We all need to find that road.

No matter what the cost, I am determined to find that road...

Finding Contentment

Young Blood is a regular column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer. It's a contributors column from those "twentysomething and below". Naturally, I don't fit in this category, but I do enjoy reading the contemplative thoughts on life from the younger generation.

The column by Aldo T. Lim titled "Comparisons" published last Saturday April 4, 2009 caught my eyes. His rantings talked about two people - Anthony and Aldo - and the admiration of Aldo over what Anthony was, and had. Aldo writes at how much he compares himself with and envies Anthony. Two friends growing up together yet with different paths in life. And no matter how much Aldo compares himself to Anthony, they will never be on the same plane.

Like many of us, we compare ourselves with other people, other lives, others dreams. Strangely, like Aldo, it's only the beautiful and wonderful things in life we desire. The comparisons between having the opportunity to dream of going to Millenium Park in Chicago (for Aldo) and live in the Windy City for awhile (for Anthony) or to as senseless as graduating and spending guiltless time-off after graduation at home for Aldo and in Texas for Anthony or even to as simple as Anthony having a more "privileged" life with Aldo comparing himself to Anthony in terms of having a better MP3, better camera, better job and yup, a better life...

We have our crossroads and inextricably, most of us suffer the fate of Aldo.

There are several parallels in this world though. While Aldo compares himself with Anthony, I am sure Anthony compares himself with someone else. You see, our lives run parallel with someone else's life and it's not a sin to compare. The irony is that we only compare ourselves with what others have and dream of what others have...sad to say out of unconscious envy. Even in the short column, Aldo only desires what Anthony has but never mentions what Anthony does NOT have. We only look for the roses in the field and don't want to have anything to do with the thorns.

My partner in his blogsite (http://web.me.com/bjcarreon/Twisted_Optimism) cited a few lines from Elizabeth Gilbert on "Eat, Pray, Love" and Ms. Gilbert having to deal with Depression and Loneliness as if both were human. Depression confiscating your identity and Loneliness relentlessly interrogating you.

Both Depression and Loneliness are fiends who harass you into losing your best friend Happiness.

Happiness is often the loneliest friend we have in the end because, while Happiness hangs around us joyfully, we miss out on the journey of life because we let Depression and Loneliness take the lead. We forget that it is Happiness who is our best friend in both good and bad times.

Life is never fair. Believe it or not, everyone has their share of Depression and Loneliness. But Happiness will always be around...and we can get rid of the other comparative parallels in our lives if only we learn to find Contentment. Finding Contentment is the real challenge because we get side-tracked by Depression and Loneliness into accepting them as the true companions in Life. While Contentment is visibly in front of us, we prefer not to see him because many of us have difficulty in accepting the companionship of Happiness. Many of us would rather wallow with Depression and Loneliness. It is both Depression and Loneliness that zaps the very core of life we have left in this world. At the end of the day, we feel tired, sad and alone. But Depression and Loneliness will always declare we need them in order to be competitive in this world. Which makes seeking Contentment's help and Happiness' friendship more difficult each day.

I have found Contentment in my journey called Life. Once in awhile, Depression and Loneliness tug at my very soul, but I will not let them take away my best friend Happiness because Contentment is now with me. How about you?



(Photos from www.flickr.com/photos/eyeore2710)

Pursuing happiness

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. Sifting throught the cable channels, I chanced on the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" starring Will Smith playing the role of Chris Gardner. The movie was based on a true-to-life story of a homeless salesman-turned stockbroker, in this heart tugging film where the the search for happiness lies in one man's struggle against all odds. The screenplay written by Steven Conrad is based on the memoir of Gardner.

The gist of the story runs around the life of Gardner, who is a salesman for a "bone density scanner". The financial dire his family is plunged into spins off in the beginning of the movie, paving the way for his estranged relationship with his wife who decides to leave him and their son, Christopher, to make a life for herself. After the wife abandons him and their son, Chris is left in a void of having to fend for himself and his son through various means. While he is provided a chance to train to become a stockbroker, he literally lives off the streets of San Franciso and each unfortunate situation is a bad streak of dominoes falling off each other. The moving scene of father and son having to sleep in the metro's bathroom or stay on the train without getting off so that they can sleep was most moving. The central theme revolved around one man's search for happiness (spelled "happyness" intentionally in the movie title) against all odds that he faced. The major driving factor for that search, centered around his 5 year old son, who lugged around with him for most of the day.

The movie, while considered by critics as a "cheezy film verging on an exaggerated version of life with a fairy tale ending", is indeed a heart-warming inspirational movie that treads on the grim realities of having to cope with challenges in life.

I can relate to this movie and the situation of Chris. For someone whose life has not been a bed of roses nor was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, the pursuit of happiness is everyone's dream. It is the silver lining behind the clouds and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Both of these may be simply dreams that we all wish to attain, but they are all humanly achievable.

I once told a friend that we do not all have 'aha!' moments that would spell a difference in a day. In actuality, there are more times we go through periods where challenging moments in life test our integrity, loyalty and determination as individuals. They test our sanity and strength. But those who live to fight and survive another day are those whose lives are changed during that journey. And come a little closer in the pursuit to the goal of happiness.