Of relationships and I dos

It is human nature, regardless of age, to seek for relationships.

Whether it is found in some dark alley or casual/formal introductions or from adopting parents or, in this day and age - online - the bottom line is: it is human nature to seek for love, even in the most unexpected places or circumstances.

I am sure that each of you have stories about love found and love lost. The circle of life dictates that as long as we breath, we attempt to find the Shangrila in our lives. Is there really one? Can we really find happily ever afters? Is there a relationship that has a love ever after ending?

Even married couples, in spite of vows to love and to hold, in sickness and in health till death do them part have storms that come along their way. Perhaps because of the contract they are attached to or for the sake of the children or conjugal properties and investments, they attempt to work out the differences in spite of the odds that come their way. Some manage to stay together, but there's quite a hefty number that prefer to go their separate ways - in search of new relationships.

What draws people together to form a relationship?

There are two drawing points. LOVE is one of them. This four-letter word seems to be widely used and, often time, abused. Of course, for some, the more intimate part called SEX is usually the first reason to get attached. Yet the latter usually dissipates more quickly than love. People in search for a wham-bam-thank-you-Sam will perpetually be in search of relationships that find no meaning except the exercise of their libido. Whichever it is, having the best of both worlds would probably be the perfect scenario. But the strongest bond is that of LOVE.

Unconditional love allows both parties to grow. Each may falter somewhere, but because there is real love in a relationship, it will allow each person to understand the shortcomings that come along the way. After all, no one is perfect. And with that said, it's always a good reminder that when relationships begin to falter, one should remember how a relationship started and where it is at today. Often times, we forget to assess how the relationship began. It is ironic how many of us forget this.

Every relationship is a work in progress. It's based on promises made with the one you've fallen in love with or exchanged "I do". And while promises made are meant not to be kept, there are those that are. Strangely, we often times don't know the person whom we enter a relationship with. While some people lay their cards on the table as you get to know one other, there will always be skeletons in the closet with others. Eventually, these are discovered and while we sweep them under the rug at times, more often than not, there are more dirty or dark secrets revealed WHILE you're in a relationship that lead to a state of misery.

So now you're in a Catch 22 scenario. You can't get out of it or you're in too deep or you're miserable with a BUT! It's strange that we begin to dwell on WHAT IFs and WHYs and WHY NOTs. One party wishes that the other party would just bolt the relationship to end all misery.

We forget that the reason why, as human beings, and as human nature dictates, that we continuously search for relationships because we search for happiness. I am willing to bet that once upon a time, you were both happy, without a care in the world. That many of us had sworn to even beat all odds. Oddly, when push came to shove, we shoved more than we pushed.

Relationships are built on trust, loyalty and understanding. Without the three there would not be a reason to be together. Whether the relationship is one of friendship or two people in love or even an adopted child or family, the three fundamental instruments of maintaining a sustaining and durable relationship without finding fault in every single act should be considered.

It is easy to move in and out of a relationship. After all, finding what makes you happy is the most important goal in life. But this is a selfish outlook on life. It's only fair that while we try to find our happiness, we take into consideration the happiness of others as well.

After all, even the "happily ever afters" began with "once upon a time".