Botoxed at 53

What do you get yourself as a gift for your birthday?

Been there, done that mode.

During our younger years, we couldn't hurry up to be more "mature" looking so that we could pass as adults for our age. Then when we're at the prime of our lives, one day we look at the mirror and start counting the lines across our foreheads, the crow's feet along our eyes, the laugh lines that have deepened, the greying (if not balding) hair, the paunch on our midsection and then we heave a heavy sigh.

It's not of discontent. It's reality sinking in. Yes dear, we're counting down to our senior citizen card.

But why do we want to look like 70 when the wonders of science have changed the landscape of remaining beautiful or younger or sexier even in our prime?

A month ago, I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror at the lines across my forehead and made a frown. Reality check - no Shu Uemura foundation or Triaktiline firming cream or Lancome anti-aging could reverse the process.

The truth of the matter is, I fell for the old trick in the book. I went to Marie-France to enroll in the facial Refirme program. Paid almost P43,000 ($1000) for 4 sessions (3-4 weeks apart) where they staple your face 1000 shots of heat emanating from a gadget. It was like I was getting jolted on the face for an hour. When the session was over, the skin felt smooth and firmed. But that didn't last. After a week, the lines were visible once again. And it went on and on until I decided that all these advertisements were such a scam (I told you they don't work. These endorses just get the programs for free so like Dawn Zulueta or Ping Lacson, they're all photoshopped to sell a spiel.)!!!

A week ago, I decided to take the final plunge. I researched on onabotulinum toxin A (Botox Cosmetics) and called my dear friend Ida (she's my dermatologist at Asian Hospital) and told her about getting a Botox. Yesterday, I finally had 52 units of Botox injected into my face (on the forehead, across the crows feet, on the laugh lines, and along the chin area).

Was it painful? Well, let's put it this way, I had EMLA all over so the pain was tolerable. You can't look down for 1 hour. You can't lie down for 4 hours. You feel like gazillion bees had stung your face and it's red all over. The headache was minimal. And now as I write this blog, my face feels stretched. But the lines, oooohhhh, they're disappearing slowly. You can see the improvement in just 24 hours but the maximum effect is supposedly noticeable in 2 weeks.

So if you bump into me and see the change, it's not because of the cosmetics or the facials I get, it's Botox.

I will not post before and after pictures because it's horrifying (this is supposed to be a general public reading blogspot). When you bump into me one of these days, you'll see the difference. It's aging beautifully that matters now.

And for those that want to know how a Botox is done, watch this video from youtube...




http://www.botoxcosmetic.com/home.aspx

Before and after

Seriously, I had a size 24 waistline when I was in college, all the way up to med school.

I remember that when I did my fellowship in Boston, I had to go to the children's clothes section to buy my clothes! My t-shirts were size 16, my underwear had to be for a 16 year old, and my pants were still size 24! I was 105 pounds when I was in college. A weight I maintained up to my fellowship days. During my fellowship years, I would often be mistaken for a teenager, having the need to show my ID when I would buy a bottle of wine. I think I could have been a great poster boy for Cambodia, where you see this scrawny little malnourished boy wearing a shirt that's a size too big for him.

A couple of decades later and I'm 40 pounds heavier. Gosh! Where did all that fat come from?

Seriously, when I hit 40, I saw the fine lines on my face. It's been less than 5 years since I started my private practice. During residency and fellowship, I didn't have these lines. I know that once I could afford those expensive anti-aging cosmetics from Clinique, I would need to get hold of the whole line. And so my first professional fees went into paying for my facials and those facial lotions, cleansers and creams that I prayed so fervently would retard aging.

Call me vain but I wanted to stay young forever.

But as luck would have it, the call of success would take a toll on my physical appearance. It was like, one day I suddenly woke up and couldn't understand what happened to me all those years. Who is this guy in the mirror? He looks so old.

And so I began the search for the fountain of youth. I tried all the different caviars and Strivectins my poor face and skin could take. Then the added pounds started to show. I was not a health buff, but I needed to find a way to get rid of this extra poundage.

Off to the gym I went. I tell you, beginning a work out regimen at the age of 40 is no joke. It's like my body was telling me - who are you kidding? And I was going to beat the odds. (Wishful thinking was driving me bananas!) I hired a personal trainer to keep me disciplined with my workout. The gym dues were not that expensive, but together with the trainer, that was a killer on the pocket! I would shell out almost P7500 every month, and I paid 6 months in advance so that I wouldn't drop out of the gym. It would pain me to get on the treadmill and lift weights. But not as painful as it would hurt my pocket for the gym and trainer dues.

Then there were the supplements. Whey protein, vitamins, arginine, creatine, fat burners, electric stimulators on the abs, by golly, you name it, I've tried it. And there went my credit card bills. I made GNC practically rich!

It wasn't only the body. The face was also taking a toll. Where did these crow feet across my eyes come from? OMG! Clinique wasn't working anymore. It was time to shift from one cosmetic brand to another. Shu Uemura, Lancome, Estee Lauder, Clarins - Where was the magic wand of science?

A friend of mine told me that today, there is nothing that science cannot do.

Sob sob sob....and the clock just ticks and ticks away...

Sob sob sob...no more six pack abs, no more 24 inches waistlines, no more teeny bopper look...

Another look in the mirror...sighhh...how fast time flew, now that I'm 52...and counting down to my very privileged senior citizen discount card...

Science will probably work wonders at preserving my youthful look for, hopefully another 10 years and I will look back and wonder where those abs went or those lines grew and the gray hair started to grow and hopefully laugh and look back in the mirror and say - it was the journey stupid!

Birthday blues

It's that time of year when I start counting my age.

I actually stopped counting last year. Held a bash to celebrate 50 years, and instead of buying the Audi that I've always wanted, had my house renovated.

Another year, another chapter in my life unfolding.

I count the grey hairs that appear or the flab that's developing in my gut, or the temperamental mood swings I go through (which of course were present even when I was younger), or the number of tablets of drugs I need to take to keep my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar in control, or the number of hours I need to stay on the treadmill to burn that fat that I build each time I take one bite off a chocolate bar or the many times that I wake up in the middle of the night wondering why in God's name I'm wide awake at 1am...yup, it's another year and I've crossed the golden border.

I recall the younger years and how much has changed since 25 years ago. My status in life, my career path, my love life, my relationships with the people who have come and gone, my bank account, and I cannot help but wonder how I made it through and be where I am today.

Life, is simply a roller coaster ride. Some day you're up, other times you're down and out. Sometimes the good days outnumber the bad, and vice-versa. Life will never be what we want it to be, as fate and destiny play vital roles.

When I finished medical school, I thought of repaying my parents for all the hardship they had to go through so that I could graduate from medicine. Payback was part of my agenda but tragedy would strike and my dad eventually became bed ridden. It was also then that I had the opportunity to do more postgraduate training at Boston University. The fork in the road. The choice I had to make - stay and take care of dad or leave and find my destiny.

Leaving my parents at a time of difficulty was heart breaking and I had more insecurities in a place I was unfamiliar with. But I knew that there were people rooting for me and people who really cared. After training, I passed up an opportunity to work at Boston University Hospital in spite of the offer for an H1 visa. I returned home and started to care for my parents.

Fate was not kind because soon after I had returned, my father passed away. And my mom had gone through periods of depression.

Those years of having to balance my life with the challenges it posed left my soul scarred and I desperately began my search for meaning to life, or something like it...I desperately clung to asking God for answers to questions I was even afraid to ask myself.

Each year passed quickly as I buried myself in work. This year will be another year that marks a milestone for me. In a few days I will celebrate the last leg of my journey towards my senior year.

With the help of my dermatologist, Shiseido, Shu Uemura and Tri-aktiline, I probably can visibly shed a few years off my age in looks. But life has taught me the lessons that have me hopefully more prepared for the final leg of enjoying life to the fullest. After all, I can only share my journey with all of you who have made my world worth living.

It's time to age gracefully!