90 seconds on a day before Christmas

It's the day before Christmas, December 24, 2012.

On my way to the gym early this morning, the streets were mostly deserted. The supermarkets at the malls were open early and that's where all the cars were parked. I guess it's a sign that people are busy preparing food for tonight's noche buena, a tradition that millions of Filipinos and billions of people all over the world carry. To the Christian community, it marks the birth of Jesus Christ. To the majority of the people all over the world, Christmas has become one of the most anticipated festive occasions of the year.

As my car stopped on an intersection, I could not help but watch some children without slippers and in ragged clothes huddle in a corner. And while the music in the car churned to the dancing and prancing and rocking of Christmas carols, the young woman carrying a baby outside the window of my car was begging for food.

The 90 seconds wait hit a lump on my throat. Here were children who did not deserve to be on the streets the day before Christmas or any other day in their lives. They were peering into cars that did not even bear plate numbers (read - spankingly NEW!). And no one even opened the window for them.

On the other side of the street were people bringing loads of supermarket items and plates of food, I surmised in preparation for tonight's gathering and merry making. It was like a film in slow motion where I slowly picked up my bag for some change while watching the counter of the traffic light tick slowly away. I pushed down the window switch and a whole flock of children had leaned against the car. The coins were enough for them.

When I got home I could not rub the picture off my mind. The 90 seconds kept rewinding on my mind while I had lunch. I, and let me say it cynically, most of us, have more than what we expect from a good life. Sure, we've had good and bad days. Sure, we've had our share of heartaches and headaches. But we should consider ourselves luckier than most. And the largesse that we have should not be shared solely among those who already have more in life but to the very least.

A few more hours and it would be Christmas. I took out my checkbook and wrote an amount for a preschool child to go to school. I gave it to our parish church. It would make a difference in his or her life. I went back home and looked at how much food there was on the kitchen table. They were gifts from several people. I asked the household help to divide all these cookies and pastries and fruits and candies and whatever there was into several packages. When I get the food I ordered for tonight's dinner, I will pass on some gifts to those who are on the streets on Christmas eve.

If we all put out a little from what gifts we earned the whole year round, it really would be a better place for all. It's my grown up Christmas wish list.

What's your Christmas wish?

Silent nights

It's 6 days to Christmas and I have not posted a blog for the longest time.

Oddly, it's one of those days where I don't even feel the Christmas spirit. I am not sure if it has anything to do with the workload or or what has happened to some of my employees, friends and loved ones this year. It was, I should say, a most challenging and difficult year.

There were those who I had the honor of working with for the longest time, leave the company. There were those who had lost loved ones to illnesses which even the best that medical science could offer, could not save. There were tasks in the work field that became difficult and patience became a virtue. (It definitely isn't me, but I had to learn it the hard way.)

In short, there were hellos and goodbyes.

Perhaps the most difficult of all was to see loved ones go through the worst days of their lives and there were times that I felt that God was not around to make the pain go away.

I remember the year when my father passed away, it was one of the most miserable Christmas of my family. My family and I huddled in a corner and hoped that the year would pass quickly.

During the weekend at the mall, I strolled around to see the merry making, shopping, caroling, dining, glittering and whatever joy that decked the halls that make Christmas tralalalala-lala! And as I reached home, it would be one of those silent nights, waiting for a brand new day.

I mulled on the thought that while the shoppers were busily wasting their 13th month pays and Christmas bonuses on gifts galore, there were street kids who have nothing to look forward to. The victims of the recent calamity, Typhoon Pablo, had yet to recover from their losses. And it looked like the community where I lived was awash in cash and gadgets.

Even newspapers had the commercial angle of posting articles on "what do you want for Christmas"? Gadgets, Clothes, Cash were at the top of the list. Food was at the bottom. Christmas had lost its meaning. It is a materialistic season and that's the bottom line.

In reality, media has brainwashed us into believing that the true spirit of Christmas was in the spending spree of all that we earned or worked for for the year. It's the once a year splurge that heralded the airwaves even as early as September (in the Philippines, the -ber months stood out to mean that Christmas would be near). In the Philippines, there are two seasons where work comes to a standstill - the holy week leading to Easter Sunday and Christmas leading to the New Year.

And while we prep up the economy through spending more this Christmas, there will be many as well who will not feel the yuletide joy. And the mixed feelings of joy and sadness permeate my silent nights.

I hope that for those of you who regularly read my blog, you may find a new meaning to Christmas...more than just the gift-giving and merry making in our homes, but in those whose lives we can touch and we can change because this Christmas, we made a difference in their lives.

A little bit crazy

We're a little bit crazy in someway.

I guess life's challenges puts us at the throngs of balance between too much happiness and too much sadness.

We are all tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticisms and even senseless tragedies. Often times, we say that these are just "tests in life" and we need to pass the tests.

The tragedy felt by family members of suddenly losing a parent to a disaster in a family that is tightly knit is different if the family was in disarray from the get go. Job loss or financial difficulties are more stressful to someone who is the major bread winner. Whatever the problems are, the circumstances surrounding it form the "icing on the cake".

Mental health is as important as physical health. In the United States, it is estimated that about 25-30% of Americans suffer from mental health problems - anywhere from anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, major depression, alcohol and substance abuse, sexual deviations, to name a few. The data in the Philippines is not any different - perhaps what will vary are the types of mental health disorders but the overall statistics more or less remains the same. Which means that about 30Million Filipinos suffer from mental disorder. The difference in gathering more data in the Philippines lies in the fact that seeing a psychiatrist or seeking assistance for mental health problems carries a stigma in the country. It's probably why we brush aside patients who have mood disorders and say that they're just not in their element for the day or children who are hyperactive as just part of the growing up years or that they're just "spoiled" brats.

Because of the cultural differences and the fact that many Filipino physicians even fail to recognize early signs of deteriorating or changing mental health is a barrier to educating laymen on the process of recognizing and helping patients with these disorders.

Today, people and science are taking mental health to a new level. With awareness, must come answers to properly address how we can manage, recognize and refer patients to health care providers experienced at diagnosing and treating mental health disorders.

Here are a few tips on recognition of mental health problems:
1. Children react differently from adults. While adults may talk about it, children usually mimic what they see by re-enacting it or experience night terrors or nightmares.

2. Mood changes between mania and depression may be abrupt and often times are difficult to recognize. Because it may be rapidly-cycling, the general public brush aside these mood swings as "sumpong" of the person.

3. We're all a little bit crazy. That's a given. I have my mood swings and have had good and bad days as well. The tipping point comes and goes and I coast along the road of life. For those who have mental illness, however, the symptoms continue over a period of time. In short, it's pervasive. Remember, there are various mental disorders and each of them should fulfill a cluster of diagnostic criteria to fall under a classification.

4. People who suffer from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) mimic depression. Flashbacks are common among these victims of trauma and symptoms can appear much later after the incident (sometimes 3 months to 1 year). Nightmares and avoidance of certain places or people who trigger the trauma are usually presenting manifestations. They also retell the story over and over again to those who are willing to listen. They are usually easily started or are hypervigilant.

5. Never take suicide - whether expressed verbally or attempted - casually. Any form of expression of suicide must be taken seriously.

6. Just because you understand the symptoms does not mean that it can replace professional advice, treatment or any other form of care. If you really understand what the person with mental illness is going through, you need to help him/her seek professional help. Understanding alone is not the solution to the problem.

7. Many illnesses have symptoms that may either overlap or be similar in appearance as another disorder. For example, patients may be mis-diagnosed as major depressive disorder when in fact the patient may be in the depressive phase of a bipolar disorder. On the extreme end, however, is the fact that ONE symptom is not an indication for a mental illness in the person.

You can help your friend or neighbor or relatives or even yourself by making sure that your mental health stays in check as well.

The site of the Philippine Psychiatric Association with this link

http://www.ppa.org.ph/causes-of-mental-disorder.html

is a great read.

Think about it...we're all a little bit crazy some days of our lives. But for those who are a bit crazy for most days of their lives, there's hope for them than just mere understanding. They have the right to lead better lives as well and the road to recovery isn't just about recognition of the disorder...it's about taking the road with them one day at a time...

[Photo from the Philippine Psychiatric Association]

Viral

The best and the worst of the face of digital technology has shown its face.

Last week, the video of #amalayer went viral. The video showed Paula Jamie Salvosa berating lady guard Sharon Mae Casinas at the LRT Santolan station after the guard had told the former to place her bag in the conveyer belt for scanning as part of the security procedures of the train stations and going into the train station at the wrong entrance. Apparently peeved by the guard, Salvosa went on a psychotic anger spree and the rest is history. [She probably had too much espresso that morning.]





Salvosa has gone down in history, courtesy of YouTube, and digital technology as the most watched and trending topic worldwide, replacing even the "Chuck Norris" jokes. Several spoofs were born from the original video that was shown on major network stations during prime time news. After going viral, the life of Salvosa would never be the same again. She probably will never get a job anymore, except probably as some floosie cocktail waitress or masseuse or go-go dancer somewhere in the Santolan area as well.

Technology has made lives of people more productive and communication across all barriers has been torn down. On the other hand, it has served as the medium for destroying careers and personalities.


You will recall the fighting tiff between Raymart Santiago and Mon Tulfo at the Cebu Pacific counter. The sex videos of Dr. Hayden Kho has been the final ax on his blossoming career as a supposed "cosmetic surgeon" (when in actuality he is only a general practitioner) and increased his popularity as a porn star stud. Christopher Lao the Ateneo law school graduate who berated a MMDA officer because Mr. Lao had forced his car to go through a flooded area only to realize that it was neck deep. He was angry with the MMDA officer because the latter had not warned him of the depth of the water. He later accused people who uploaded the video of cyberbullying him. Then there was the case of the Robert Blair Carabuena who berated and slapped the MMDA officer who accosted him for beating the red light. The Human Resource executive of Philip Morris now has a pending case with the government and his driver's license has been permanently revoked.




Media has had a frenzy at the various YouTube uploads lately. Short of having enough news to report, they have included what has become "viral" in an effort to increase their respective viewers. With various networks battling each other for every nook and cranny for the popularity ratings, what has turned "viral" alone in YouTube has now become a "contagion" with media fanning the flames of stupidity, idiocy, sex, violence and profanity.

On the other side of the sword are the faces of success from technology. Charice Pempengco's life changed overnight after Ellen Degeneres and later Oprah made her an overnight sensation. Efren Penaflorida had won the CNN Heroes of the Year a few years ago because the Filipinos had pushed for his achievements online.

And so the story goes, while digital technology has improved in connecting the stories and lives of many, it has also served as the destruction and downfall of others.

The moral of the story - the next time you open your mouth or go into an outrage - STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. Someone beside you may be taking a video of your rampage and I guarantee you, life with never be the same again - no matter how much you try to explain your side. Media will always be "holier than thou". After all, to media, it's only about the numbers. It will not matter what you say at the end of the day because you have been judged from hello.

Senseless

Over the long holidays, the news of a UST alumna who was murdered in cold blood hogged the headlines. Cyrish Magalang, a 20 year old cum laude graduate of Tourism was found dead, hogtied with 49 stab wounds and her face bashed with a hollow block so that no one would recognize her.

Suspects Rolin and younger brother Roel Gacita, both tricycle drivers, were later arrested.

From the ABS-CBN news desk, this was what was in the media report of the side of the Gacita brothers:

"Rolin, in an interview with radio dzMM's Rated Korina, admitted to killing the UST alumna while he was under the influence of drugs.

He said Roel, also a tricycle driver, picked up Magalang. He then told his brother to go to an area where he killed the Thomasian alumna.

"Naano po yung pag-iisip ko, tulirong-tuliro, dahil sa nag-away kami ng asawa ko at naka-inom ako, kaya naka-gawa ako ng 'di maganda," he said.

"Wala ho ako sa sarili ko, tulirong-tuliro ang isipan ko. Dahil nga sa, 'yun nga, 'yung droga. Kaya 'di ko na alam ang nagawa ko," he added.

Rolin said he stabbed Magalang with a screwdriver and then smashed her head with a hollow block.

He also insisted that his brother never had a hand in the crime. He also denied that he raped Magalang.

"Hindi naman ho 'yung kapatid ko 'yung nagplano. Nagulat na lang siya nung sinabi kong ihinto niya 'yung motor... Nagulat siya nung pumasok na lang ako sa tricycle... Pinilit ko lang siya na dalhin 'dun…Ako lang naman po [ang pumatay]. Bale yung kapatid ko, nasa labas lang, nakabantay lang sa motor niya," he said.

Rolin claimed he has no other criminal record, saying he was only a simple tricycle driver who sidelines as a vegetable vendor.

He also appealed to Magalang's family for forgiveness. "Nagsisisi ako sa nagawa ko. Pagdurusahan ko po ang kung ano mang ibibigay sa aking parusa para mapatawad lamang ako ng mga magulang niya," he said. – with reports from Eric Dastas and David Oro, dzMM"

The interview was a startling revelation of no remorse on the part of the criminal. He was able to aptly describe (in spite of his being in a drugged state) the senseless gruesome act that he committed.

The sheer fact that he claims that he has had no criminal record and that he was "only a simple tricycle driver who sidelines as a vegetable vendor" is hogwash and a pathetic excuse to make him look like a sheep in wolf's clothing. There is no such this as a "simple" driver. The mere fact that the killer is hooked on drugs is a crime in itself. There must be a more thorough investigation on how the alleged killer was able to get prohibited drugs, who the source (or drug pusher) is, and get to the bottom of the prohibited substance industry.

Methamphetamine HCl (otherwise known as Shabu) is one of the most common substance abused drugs in the Philippines. Otherwise known as poor man's cocaine, Shabu thrives mostly in the poorer communities of the Philippines. It is estimated that almost 80% of those living in the slum areas have used shabu in their lifetime, while 60% of these 80% are regular users of shabu. Obviously, because of its euphoric effects, its users range from the very poor to the affluent in society.

Shabu is a stimulant and a psychotropic agent in the amphetamine class. Ephedrine and amphetamine carry similar chemical structures, which makes it easy to manufacture methamphetamine HCl or Shabu in any ordinary backyard laboratory.

What makes Shabu appealing to drug users is not only the low cost for getting high - it's the getting high part. Shabu induces mania, euphoria, increased libido and self-esteem, alertness, self-confidence, and increased energy. Because of these effects, almost 95% of prostitutes in the Philippines test positive for shabu use.

You can always detect a user. Symptoms of heightened alertness, diminished fatigue, weight loss or no weight gain and no appetite, constantly thirsty with dry lips yet looks dehydrated (you'll notice this among some of our movie personalities or models), excessive talking and during the "high" stage, shabu users are awake all day. When the drug's effects wears off, the user begins to crash and this is when they become violent, aggressive, and confused.

Drug addiction has become a large problem in the Philippines. Drug mules are a dime a dozen with China executing several Filipino drug mules who want to earn a quick living and dash for the execution chamber. The irony here is that the Philippines and Jejomar Binay are quick to dash on the next plane to ask for a reprieve for the crimes they commit. Crimes that bring shame to the Filipino people as a race. Crimes that we commit in our own country and cannot seem to grapple at containing this heinous act of drug peddling.

I don't think we get the picture clear here. I am sure that we have military officials and government officials that are the biggest fish here. If you don't have the highest people in the land coddling these drug pushers, they won't exist.

And the problem won't go away until the President of the Philippines wages an all out battle against what destroys and kills the very future of our people. It's not the Gloria Arroyos or the Marcoses or the Chief Justice that should be his major agenda. It's sending a message to an all out war against the very core of what kills the Filipinos. While it may not get "pogi" points as political vendetta, it is the right road (read - ang tamang daan) to take.

The all out war against drugs must take precedence over friends and colleagues in order to end these senseless random acts of violence. Only a true leader who has the balls can take this all out war against drugs in the Philippines.

I sympathize with the Magalang family on the loss of Cyrish. Dreams snuffed in one senseless act where some "simple" tricycle driver gets high on drugs because he has a scuffle with his wife and gets a tantric moment and goes on a killing spree. The "simple" tricycle driver has really no role in life. He was born to what? Get high on drugs and become a murderer? How much more sense could you put into this picture?

Do our leaders have the balls to rise beyond politics? Do our government officials even have the brain to think about this picture?

Next year as we troop to the polls to select local government officials, think about it. Are the leaders you vote for in this for serving the public in where and what and when it really counts? At the end of the day, it's really up to us to decide whose hands we put the state of our nation.

No one to blame but us.

No greater love

There's the story of a young boy and his parents.

As the boy grew up, he and his parents struggled with his growth pains, as every family would realize in raising children.

Lately, the boy would always come home late from school. Supper was already ready and the parents would wait for him to get back from school so they could eat together. When asked why he came home late from school lately, the boy replied that he would hang out with friends. So the father told him that if he comes home late from school again, he would only get one piece of bread and a glass of water every time he came home late.

During the next week or so the boy came home on time. Then one day, he came home late at night again, this time much later than he used to. His mother was furious when she opened the door and gave him the cold treatment. His father was seated in the living room in silence. They all proceeded to the dinner table. His stomach was grumbling and the scent of a freshly cooked meal permeated the air. When he sat down he noticed that the plates of both his parents were filled with delicious food. And he saw that on his plate was a piece of bread with a glass of water on the side. And his face fell and he knew it was his punishment.

After a few moments of silence, his father stood up, took his own plate filled with food and swapped plates with the boy. Tonight, he was taking the punishment for his son as his own.

There's always a story of an act of love that surpasses many "I love you" we share. Love is not about giving the most expensive jewelry or fanciest car. It's the little sacrifices and it's about dying a little so that someone else lives better lives that make a difference.

I remember when I was growing up, my mother used to buy ripe yellow mangoes for me and my sister. Because we didn't have much money to go around with, whenever she would serve us the mangoes, she would slice it into three parts - the two faces with the seed in the middle. She would give the best parts to me and my sister and she would suck on the middle portion of the mango. And she would be contended with having sips of the succulent fruit.

I guess in our lives, we have had someone who has given us no greater love in their own small way. Often times, we miss seeing the big picture because we're often engrossed with ourselves and sometimes our pathetic personal wants and needs.

There will always be a bit of Jesus Christ that dies on the cross to save us from the bigger crosses we bear.

For just a few minutes in your day, have you taken the time to sit back and reflect on the people who have given you no greater love?

Think about it, and thank them for it. Because when they're not around anymore, you'll regret the day you missed the chance to say "thank you" for loving you during the worst days of your life.

of rags, tabloids and the varsitarian editorial

I was a product of the Varsitarian.

I rose from the ranks of news reporter to the editorial staff from 1980-1983.

In my curriculum vitae, I was always proud of being part of the Varsitarian. From the hundreds of students who took the exams to be part of the V, I was one of the few that passed. I took pride in the fact that I could probably have the prowess for writing.

Our publications director then, Mr. Felix Bautista taught me how to write. In him, I learned not only how to write directly from the typewriter but to write with passion and with ethics.

I am proud to be in the ranks of Varsitarian staffers who are today, excellent journalists and great writers. While I may not have pursued a journalism course, I was taught well and I know Mr. Baustista would have been proud.

The last editorial of the Varsitarian dated September 30, 2012 was, well to say the kindly - controversial. To put it in this perspective is really a kind way of saying that it was written badly. There was so much bashing, bullying and in a distinct fashion akin to the Pharisees, there was finger pointing on who was holy and good versus those who were sinners.

The editorial serves as the stand of whatever or whoever the publications is owned by. In this case - it is the official student organ of the Royal and Pontifical University of Santo Tomas. Hence, it purports to be the stand of the student Thomasian community. Given this fact, why are many Thomasian students screaming for the head of whoever wrote the editorial, on a silver platter?

It is shoddily written by someone who had much hatred against Ateneo de Manila University and De La Salle University. The arguments against the Reproductive Health Bill had taken a back seat from the paper's stand against this bill. It was like the writer came from a game that the UST Tigers had lost and bashed at the keyboard initially with the RH bill in mind then had hallucinations of the loss game and diverted his anger to ADMU and DLSU. In short, this was a very bad piece of editorial that shouldn't have seen the light of day.

But it went to press. It went viral. And the rest is history.

The Varsitarian carries a long tradition of being one the best and most respected student publications organ in the country. To have this trashy editorial made it look like some ragtag tabloid with those naked girls and boys on the front cover in order to sell the rag. Has it become so desperate for attention that the writer had focused on pointing out only two schools - in Katipunan and Taft? There are other Catholic schools whose teachers or professors have the same stance as those who are pro-RH. Talk about academic freedom! While academic freedom may not be absolute, neither is press freedom absolute. You don't use the editorial of the newspaper to go around castigating other schools, other sects, other religious orders just to get your opinion or your point made.

I am a physician as well. And I vow to do no harm to patients. And while I understand the pharmacology of the drugs used for reproductive health and warn people on its use, I do not go around saying that the professors from Ateneo or La Salle are lacking in brains or are pretenders and interlopers.

The fact that the University officials say that "The University thus supports the Varsitarian, its official student publication, in its stand against the RH bill and for that matter any organization united in this regard with the Catholic Church" is fine with me! That's their stand but it's not fine! There was a thin line that needed to be drawn and that was where this editorial went awry. In the first place, you cannot agree to one part of the editorial and apologize for the unsavory comments against other schools in the other paragraphs. After all, the editorial had to deliver one message - the RH Bill! Did it need to bash other schools and result in name calling? No. It needed to get edited. That was the responsibility of those that were supposed to supervise and teach the students on responsible journalism. Something very lacking in this piece of trash.

Even Thomas Aquinas would be turning in his grave at the way the school took the stand on the editorial. According to the official university bulletin - "We remain united in Christ with the Ateneo de Manila University, the De La Salle University and the other universities in our mission to promote Catholic education and to form students to become living testaments to the teachings of Christ and the principles we hold sacred—competence, commitment, and compassion."

Competence, commitment and compassion were truly lacking in this piece of trash.