The Happy Pill

It's strange how people define what makes them happy.

To some, it may be tons of cash while to others, a simple dream fulfilled is all that matters.

I recall that my childhood years were filled with memories of both happiness and struggles. My parents made sure that we had food on the table, a house over our heads, and went to good schools. When my father passed away, he didn't have enough money in his savings for his own coffin. Which told you the kind of man he was. That all he worked for went to his children. That he was never stingy in any way. He was stern in rearing us to earn well for material things but those material things were meant for spending.

My parents toiled day and night to give us a better future...and they did not even blink when they had to give up even the last coin in their pockets. And while it hurt to see them squeeze the last centavo, they found happiness in giving till it hurt.

That's what made them happy.

It's the kind of happiness that defines love to the core.

It's the kind of happiness that when you recall those days, it puts a smile on your face and sheds a tear to your eyes.

It's the kind of happiness that requires no repayment.

It's the kind of happiness that makes you know, that you're important in someone else's life. When someone is willing to give up even the smallest piece of bread so that you've had your fill, that is called love.

There are many things that make me happy because I am not a materialistic person. I am most happy when I see my family together, spend senseless Tuesdays with my aging mother whom I fondly call Inang, be with my partner even for just a few hours in the week talking (or not talking) about senseless stuff, sharing dinner in a fancy restaurant with the whole family (did I mention that we love to eat?), getting a good massage at my favorite spa, and spoil my family to death.

Some people say that I have mellowed with age (or have aged and mellowed). As I got older in my profession, I came to discover a pill that suits all people regardless of age or illness. It's one that is a free supplement to whatever maintenance medicines I'm currently on. It's the only one that I can truly say, has no safety issues as it is absolutely safe. I call it the happy pill.

The happy pill does not recognize envy or greed. It has no fear of what others will say because it stands on solid principles of integrity of one self. It has no fear of where life will lead us because it knows that we just make each day a happy day so that when time is up, we're ready to leave this worldly earth.

I told myself that if I lived to be 60 I should be happy. No one gets the grace to live that long. My father didn't make it. He died at 59. Any more years after 60 is already a bonus. Anyone who lives after 70 has super extra lives. They're either destined to do more good or to do more bad (look at our politicians...hehehe).

But seriously, today, I've learned to live one day at a time. One dream a day. I've written a bucket list and am learning to cross out those that I have achieved. Then I move on. One goal at a time.

Yup. With my new found medicine, called the happy pill, I know that whatever I achieve, will be done in my time...in God's time. We all have our destiny.

This is mine.

Philippine Mafia in Politics - the Circus is back in town

The Philippine politicians (and mundane media people) call our political clans a Dynasty.

I beg to disagree. The right term is Mafia.

The Mafia is a criminal syndicate that emerged in the mid 1800s in Sicily, Italy. Their common enterprise - protection racketeering. Every clan claims sovereignty on a territory where it operates various rackets ranging from money laundering to prostitution. A mafia engages in any illegal financial trade.

With that said, I vehemently disagree with calling our political clans a dynasty. Based on etymological definition, a dynasty is a sequence of rulers from the same family. However, dynasties are akin to affluence, influence, prominence and monarchical in class.

Most of our political clans have no class. Through some devious means, they have cajoled themselves into fame and fortune by using and usurping power through various ways.

The Estradas and Ejercitos are an example. By the power of the sperm of Erap, aside from bastardizing the political scenery, he has even put real-life bastards into political positions. And the restless masses go into a frenetic chant for Erap, Estrada or Ejercito.

Every three years, Philippine politics becomes a cavalcade. It's like waiting for the circus to come to town where the spectators eagerly await for all the clowns, acrobats, magicians and animals to give the best performance of this once in a lifetime show.

This year promises to be a repeat performance for all the mafias in the political arena in the Philippines. And nothing surpasses our show where celebrities and those mentally challenged or should I say, incompetent, have nothing better to boast than their wealth, their family name, their movie accomplishments, their endorsements and other quad media commercials, or that they're in the Philippines' top taxpayer list.

Let's stick to the obvious. Those that run for politics in this country do it not for love of nation but for propagating the spirit of creating a business enterprise where the children eventually inherit the earth, where the businesses in the local government units or the country are run by them or their relatives, where the promises during a campaign are left at that - empty promises. After the election, they go back to doing what they best do - steal, cheat, and lie. They have no cerebral capacity to even run a household but promise to run the senate!

Those who toil day and night and have the BIR check our income tax returns to the last digit (like me) don't even see the taxes we pay at work. The poor are still poor or poorer. The roads are dilapidated. There are more taxes in the form of expanded value added taxes. The streets are riddled with traffic enforcers who don't do anything except run after number coding cars. Public transportation is the pits in this country. It's not really what is right that's implemented but whom you know that gets their individual economies running.

This coming election is just another farcical exercise in futility. Unless every Filipino exercises the true meaning of a democratic election and intelligent electorate, we just go through another three years of some mafia or clown running this country.

In the end, we're actually to blame. Media in the Philippines, in all its true sense of owing it to the public has its own share of conflict of interest. After all, it's the money in the end that matters to all.

And that's why it's time to either migrate or prepare for a revolution.

Narcissism and Kris A.

It's been two weeks since the telenovela drama of Ms. Kris Aquino and the three sisters on ABS-CBN news. I don't know what there was to devote almost 30 minutes of the news show to Kris crying on national television about her spat with her ex-husband. Let me say it - my god - since when was the f*cking problem of Kris' love life even a national issue?

My mom had snatched the remote control of the TV from my hands while we were having dinner. While I was busy watching American Idol, my mother suddenly yanked the TV controls and said, "it's Kris' turn". What the?!?!?!! She said that James Yap had given his side and it was Kris' turn. What the?!?!?! Who the f*ck cared about their spat? Unless they killed each other and sliced Bimby into pieces somewhere in the pantry, I wouldn't give a f*ck with what they did with each other. But my mom had to hear the side of Kris. And while the Aquino sisters had their day on TV - all my mom could say was - MGA SINUNGALING!!!

I wanted to slap my mom silly, but yeah...acting does not befit the Aquino sisters. And why on earth did it even become a national issue that it had to hog the media? Was having sex with Kris by her ex-husband even something worth tackling on national TV?!?! Syet!! If it is eh mamatay na kayong lahat! I guess it's a sign that ABS-CBN is either desperate or the station is sinking fast that it had to gain media mileage through the saga on the life and times of Kris.

This woman needs psychiatric help. No decent person will go through an abusive relationship and dramatizing it on nationwide TV seems to be her past time. Remember the days when she had the spats with Philip Salvador (of whom the have a son, Josh) and then the gonorrhea episode of Joey Marquez? My golly - I believe Cory and Ninoy are glad they're not alive anymore to see their youngest turn out to be such a disappointment. Everything in her life has got to be about sex and her. She needs to be the star in everything she does and even doesn't do. It's not even about her brother the president. It's about her. She fits the Narcissistic personality disorder to a T.

The essential feature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. The DSM-IV-TR can be diagnosed if they have five (or more) of the following:
1. has grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love
3. believes that he/she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his/her expectations)
6. is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own end)
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him/her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

And the media frenzy that went viral (yes viral, because I was shocked that even Jessica Soho jumped into the bandwagon of getting and interview from Kris) and people talking about the latest Kris saga, scandal, and little Bimby caught in between with the three Crying Ladies at the backdrop was like a very very bad movie that we were all forced to take sides - either James Yap was telling the truth or Kris was. I think even the executives at ABS-CBN and GMA7 should also go on a sabbatical and see some shrink to have their heads checked!

At the end of the day, it's the boy called Bimby who's going to be eventually caught in deep shit. He's going to grow up as confused and angry as ever and believe me when I say that karma is such a bitch that it's going to find its way back to haunt the Aquino family.

Sa totoo lang - di na ito dapat pinatulan ng ABS-CBN at GMA7. I just lost all the remaining respect I have for Philippine media. It's a reflection of the priorities of the Filipino people and the Filipino culture. Everything has to be jologs. Everything has to be a telenovela script. We rear not only our children but our citizens based on psychiatrically impaired wannabes.

Seriously? This country has gone to the dogs.

I will not be surprised if Kris will run for government office one day. After all, she will be in good company among those with mental health issues when she joins the government circle.

What part of the English language do call center agents not understand?

Call Center agencies are a dime a dozen these days.

With the Business Process Outsourcing industry in boom, the quality of call centers as adjunct to the primary business have become a bane.

Today, I had my monthly conversation with the local call center for American Express credit cards. Today, our conversation lasted 40 minutes and 35 seconds. Yes, I keep a track of all my dealing with any call center I get in touch with. It's always a matter of he says, she says and you can never be too sure with what the agent on the other line will report. For the record, when you hear the voice that say "This conversation MAY be recorded...", you're hearing it correctly. It MAY be recorded. I'm not really sure if they even review the recordings, but based on my monthly conversation with Amex, I am certain that their call center has major quality issues.

My monthly conversation with Amex Credit Cards started last September 2012.

Yes, it's been that long.

Before I left for my US vacation, I inquired about my credit card (which was expiring end of the September 2012) AND my statement of account for the month of September. They informed me that my current card was still valid up to the end of the month and that the new one was still being "embossed" (and that was the second week of September 2012 already). OMG!!! I informed them that I was leaving the country and that IF and WHEN the card does not arrive on my return from the US by the first week of October, they can forget about delivering it and just cancel the card. I do this to all my credit cards because of fraud and theft issues with credit cards today. The agent acknowledged it and said that it would be ready within a week.

Obviously the card never came. And that's when my trip to their call center called hell, came into the picture. It was month after month of reliving the nightmare. It was month after month (although there were months that every two weeks I had to remind them that I requested cancellation of my credit card from my initial conversation with their agent in September) that I had to make them (and myself) relive the chain of events. It was like being called to court, hopefully perhaps on their part, that there would be a change in my story.

I had been billed with the annual fee of P3000 and the late and penalty charges that accrued not only because of a late bill payment (which was reasonable considering that it was partly my fault) but because the annual fee had been incorporated into the picture.

I don't know what part of the English language our call center agents do not understand, but I had no doubt that the English language was not part of the training in the understanding of the problem. I get the fact that we are the Philippines and that perhaps a majority of those employed in the call center industry are young and speak Taglish (which is NOT a language). But my instructions, explanations and communication was very clear.

It took them two months and 4 calls to cancel the card in November 2012. After I demanded to speak to a supervisor who refused to come to the phone initially. After 35 minutes of exchange argument, the supervisor attended my call and like a retard, repetitively asked if I wanted my card cancelled and if I did, all the earned points would disappear. Who the f*ck cared about whether the points disappeared or not? They gave away pathetic low cost, hard to achieve, cheap giveaways!

The point of BDO was that I had the card cancelled in November...strange because it became my fault this time around.

In January 2013, I received a text message from their call center that after all the investigation, a cousin of mine named Jordan Recson had received my statement of account and card on September 9, 2012. Hence, it was my fault. Watdfuk are these people talking about? I don't even have a cousin my that name!!! I don't even have a pet or a friend by that name!!! I don't even know the animal with that name!!!!

And no explanation could appease them...In February, I received another statement of account and the finance charges and late payment just keeps piling up.

It's exasperating to say the least, that with the advent of the call center industry, there is no more customer relationship between the customer that keeps these people's business alive and the people who run BDO or Amex (by the way, BDO runs American Express in the Philippines).

You cannot talk to higher ups who will take action on the matter. The pathetic call center agents are like trained guard dogs who screen their bosses from having a dog run after their thick hides. These call center agents are willing to take a bullet for even Henry Sy - bravo!!! The truth of the matter is that I'm not running away from them. Fair is fair. I don't owe them my annual dues because I had it terminated even before they allegedly sent anything to my house by an alleged animal called Jordan Recson.

I know that the jologs market love BDO. I despise it - for more reasons than just their lousy service. I will keep those in the lower socioeconomic class who love BDO the way they are. After all, birds of the same feather flock together.

And those who cannot even comprehend the simple English language have no business being in a call center. It's about time the BPO be transferred to countries where the kind of BPO service and understanding of the English language is more proficient than the Philippines.

I suppose this is my calvary and I hope it ends soon. Otherwise, on my way to Good Friday, I shall crucify someone at BDO, even if he is on a wheelchair.

[P.S. Incidentally, here's the site where I got the image from...it's another interesting read...
http://customersrevenge.blogspot.com/2011/12/bdo-we-find-ways-to-steal-your-money.html]

Real men don't have abs

People are judgmental.

When they see someone who is effeminate acting, their first is impression is that he must be gay.

Being effeminate is not being gay. On the contrary, it's those straight acting boys who are gay that are difficult to spot. A girl friend of mine brought up the topic that it's difficult to spot who's gay and who's not today. So many macho looking men only to find out they are more of a woman than her. (Read - Carmina Villaruel aghast at what BB Gandahari aka Rustom Padilla has become). So she asked for me for "clues" - thinking I had a uhmmm nose for it or that it took one to know one!

But yes, as the saying goes, it takes a thief to catch a thief.

And with that said, here are my ten tell-tale signs when you wonder if the man of your dreams hits jackpot on the gay-o-meter.

1. Real men don't have abs
Yes, real men don't really care about their beer belly. Only three kinds of professions require men to have great abs - body builders, fashion models and male strippers. With that said, a guy who's more obsessed about his abs than your tits has a higher probability of being gay.

2. Real men don't wear BeBe cream
Alright so the Koreans have fashioned the BeBe cream. And so now everyone is wearing it. From girls to boys. While there's nothing wrong to good grooming, it's odd that your boy toy looks prettier than you. If he's smudging on the face more than you, it's time to dump the gal!

3. Real men don't wear tighties
When a real guy shows off what a great body he has, he does it with minimal fan fare on the crotch area. When a guy wears pants or underwear that has his whole crotch screaming for justice and freedom, man you've got to be careful. He's probably showing the weaner to attract other men to catch a watch on little junior down there! The gay boys dress to cruise other men. It's not fine to look like a male slut.

4. Pets real men have
So he's a pet lover. Nothing wrong with that. But if they guy loves shitzus, pomeranians or even has a doggie bag for his chihuahua or has siamese or persian cats for his pets, you need to blink twice. These breed of pets need super grooming skills and you need to take a second look at your man if he loves to comb hair.

5. Real men don't go to the gym 7 days a week
He's a gym buff. He's into pilates, gymnastics, yoga and pole dancing. My God - he's more of a bitch that you probably are. There's really nothing wrong with a healthy lifestyle but to be the gal in the gym...he must be there more often than not because he's cruisin the locker rooms. And it's not tits he's looking for, if you know what I mean.

6. Real men don't carry handbags
I'm not talking about carrying your handbag.
The fashionistas call it a statement. Prada, Tumi, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Burberry, Dior, Hermes...you name it...they make it. They call it a man's bag. It's more expensive than the ladies handbag. You see it in the various seasonal collections that come out of their factories. Call it what you want dahling...it's still a handbag. The fashion gurus market it for financial reasons. Real men won't buy this fashion shit.

7. Real men don't go breaking girls hearts
They call him a man's man. Because? He has so many women on the side. It's like he has a harem full of girls swooning and dying for him. But breaking the girls hearts (and their hymen...excuse the word) because he wants them part of his collection to brag or boast is the worst kind of male species. These kind of men do what they do not because their penis is powerful, it's because they have so much insecurities that they need to fill the void...to show to themselves that they are heterosexual in orientation.
Incidentally, when a man is asked if he is gay, a real man will not say - go ask my wife. The wifey is always the last to know. I know a lot of married men whose wives don't know of their indiscretions. A real man will ask back - so what if I am what's it to you?

8. Real men are not bisexual
Some men say that they swing both ways. I've never believed in the word BISEXUAL. For God's sake - you can't like both the male and female organ. The mere fact that he enjoys blowing a rod as much as he likes licking your p---y well all I can say is that you're stupid to think that he loves you. That's a lot of crap! He can't like having it in the ass and plugging you to kingdom come as well. He's 100% gay.

9. Real men do not gossip
Some men have the gift of gab. That's a gift. But there are those that wag their tongues like forever. They talk about their next door neighbor, the girl they banged the other night, share other people's deep dark secrets. Yup, you want to let the world know about who's the biggest fuck up in the company - you whisper it to this guy. He's a really pussy deep down inside. And like the movie reporters, he's interested only in gossip.

10. Real men don't have Lady Gaga on their iPod
So here's the deal. What does Lady Gaga have that real men would go gaga over her music? Seriously - none. That's why Lady Gaga has two followings - the gaga girls and the gay boys. Her music isn't the kind that real men won't feel eroticized over. Her videos are all hunky boys in various states of undress. If your man loves her videos and music, he's probably oogling at the biceps, triceps and pecs of the back up dancers.

If the man of your dreams checks 7-10 out of 10, dump him. He's 100% gay!

The use of the words "can" and "may"

Epidemiologic studies cannot always prove cause and effect.

One clinical study does not make the golden rule. It may prove a hypothesis but should the experiment should be repeatable, given the same settings.

With these two important research concepts, the public is advised to make sure that what he/she reads is thoroughly discerned. With technology at our fingertips, and an abundance of bloggers who blog for a living, I caution the public on information they capture and read on-line, especially within the realm of medical science. Medicine is NOT an exact science.

I blog about fellow bloggers who have no authority to write about a field they are unfamiliar or not professionally trained to provide an opinion about. This causes undue harm by providing wrongful "dis-information" to the public. To cite a clear example is a mom blog site where she promotes the use of a probiotic in order to increase platelet count in patients with dengue infection.

It is a fact that if patients are faced with a disease that has NO treatment, we will draw at straws in search of a cure. And while there is nothing wrong looking for a cure - desperate circumstances result in desperate measures. But desperation can be fatal for those who don't understand the science and just read the results.

The use of the words "can" and "may" should be the benchmarks for any claims made from researches or clinical trials.

An example is the current American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines on Pesticides and Kids. While there are data on acute and chronic exposures to pesticides, the technical data report discusses ASSOCIATIONS, which does not mean cause and effect. There is an increasing amount of data in the literature linking chronic exposure of children to pesticides with neurodevelopmental problems or some form of cancer later on, but the literature provides data on the LINK and does not explicitly state a 100% cause and effect scenario. Cancer or neurodevelopmental disorders may emanate from other causes and not necessarily the pesticide exposure. While undue exposure to pesticides CAN increase the risk of chronic diseases in pediatrics, the amount of pesticide exposure or duration of pesticide exposure MAY be a contributing factor. The statement being made is to diminish the primary exposure through preventive measures (by providing less exposure to pesticides) so that we CAN minimize long-term problems.

Saying that taking probiotics CAN bring up the platelet count of patients in a study that is highly flawed is like putting the carriage in front of the horse. I don't know how much the mom blogger got paid for saying this, but it is highly controversial and highly unethical for a non-professional to endorse a product's clinical trial that has no foundation except that it was written (but not PUBLISHED) by three doctors.

At any rate, the internet is currently full of trash and the public has to be warned about all the information flying around. Only a handful are truly informative. Having to sift through which ones are useful MAY be the challenge here.

Remember, media will always attempt to appeal to the emotion rather than what is essentially true. Capturing what they want in 60 seconds or less is appealing to the attention-deficient audience they have.

But here's the take home message: THERE IS NO GREATER FOOL THAN THE FOOL THAT IS FOOLED BY A FOOL.

A friendly tip - if you want to make money with a blog site, don't do it at the expense of the public's health. Just go put up a porn site.

Love in the right places - mi AMOUR

I was talking to a friend about love.

We have our life stories about love lost & then found. Or love at first sight and those happily ever afters. The Filipino primetime telenovelas or the classic drama anthology Maalala Mo Kaya usually turns a dramatic flare on life and love - sometimes with all the slapping, crying, killing, burying, more slapping, more crying, then always a happily ever after.

As real as it gets are the true-to-life dramas we encounter every day of our lives. The people we love (or hate) and live with. The family we cannot choose but have to carry the burden of being part of their insane life intertwining with our insane world. The boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, husband or wife who has gone astray and created a void in our lives. Or the loved ones who have moved on to the other side of the world and have left us to live life in solace.

There's no such thing as forever. I wish there were. Then there would be no more heartaches or painful goodbyes. But life is never fair. No one ever said that it would be. Even at the best days of our lives, there's always something bound to go wrong. One day, a love gone astray. One day, you just get the feeling that you've fallen out of love. One day, the moment is gone.

I share these random thoughts about love, not because Valentine's day is a few days away from my first blog (and probably only blog) in February, but because I know the feeling of falling in and out of love...of trying to find a fairy tale story to our lives because we all want a happily ever after ending...of being together and trying to make it work but not being happy with the one you fall in love with or vice-versa...of finding an excuse to being a hopeless romantic or staying single forever...

You see, love should not be sought. It seeks you. It's found not in the busy chat rooms of an internet or a dating service. It's not found in the people you meet at work or by chance meet up through casual introductions. It's not found in the people that are introduced to you by friends or by the giggly encounters in soirees or one-night stands. It's found in the right place - in your heart.

Love is always a work in progress. You go through difficult times together and the worst times are the real test of love.

I was watching "Amour" over the weekend. It's a French film nominated for this year's Oscar award. I have never felt so depressed after watching a movie as when I saw "Amour". The film is about two elderly couple, Georges and Anne, who are music teachers in their 80s. The couple live alone in an apartment in an upscale French neighborhood and are enjoying their octogenarian years. One day, Anne has a stroke and after a few days in the hospital, Georges brings her home to care for her. Both in their sunset years, their bond of love is severely tested when Anne's condition deteriorates and she is required to have an operation which leaves her paralyzed. Georges refuses to commit her to a nursing home and continues to care for her in spite of his own limitations in caring for her in his old age. His personal mission in life was to become her caretaker...and towards the end of the story the movie was really difficult to watch. It drained me emotionally and left me with the thought that things were to get worse until its inevitable ending. It wasn't one of those movies that you'd want to watch if you're looking for fairy tale endings and magic castles, because this film downright is an unsentimental drama tells you from the get go that you're going to watch a movie that has a tragic ending.

Sometimes love in the right places means just loving one through thick and thin. It's the most difficult choice we make in life, but it's the kind of love that will make us weather the worst of times.