Fashionista 103 - The Social Butterfly

There's no stopping an idea whose time has come. Once upon a time, establishing friendship took a long circuitous route and carried a long affair with having to size up the next persons likes and dislikes before we called him/her a friend.

The era of social networking has allowed us to come face-to-face with the fact that friends are but a "return" key away and whether he/she is a sociopath or just a lost bored soul searching for some fun, "friendship" has apparently taken a different twist in the age of technology.

Socializing is the pinnacle of establishing relations - from the boardroom to the bedroom. So now you've found a circle of friends whom you enjoy some "likes" with, you bring the new found relation from a simple chat online, to a casual meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink or two, to some intimate gatherings and finally to the BFF (best friend forever) level.

Interestingly is how social graces at a gathering or party divulge the kind of person (and the breeding) we impress upon.

So here's a few tips on partying with friends, acquaintances, and the corporate people:

1. It's a party!
When you're invited to a party, know what the occasion is and dress appropriately for it. Don't go looking shabby where your nanny stands out more than you, making you look like the nanny's help. Is it a formal or informal one? Never ever wear jeans and t-shirts to a formal event. The waiters may look like your boss. Even if you drive to the event in a Porsche or Jaguar, the clothes on your back is a reflection on who you are.

As Filipino as it gets, never bring uninvited guests to the party unless the invite says so. Which means that you check your invite and find out if the name embossed there says that you can bring your whole family or your partner along. If the invitation etches only your name, it means you come alone and not bring the whole barangay to the event. It's also a good reminder that once you get an invitation and it says RSVP (répondez s'il vous plaît), meaning please respond or reply - make that call to the inviter on whether you intend to come or not. It's simple courtesy. And it's improper to ask if you can bring along a partner or your household if the name on the invite just says YOU! One thing I cannot stand are people whom you invite and come with a hoard of hungry lackeys! Remember, the reason your name is the only one there means that the event is a highly intimate and personal one and that other guests may not know whom you're bringing or feel that it is inappropriate to bring a kid or a maid or your dog to the event. In addition, take into consideration that the inviter may have budget constraints on the event and that he/she is doing a head count. It may be a P4000/head affair, so be considerate.

If it's a pot luck party, do not scrimp by bringing only cheap dessert or ice cream. It is fair game that you ask all the other invitees what the budget of the party is. If the minimum cost is P1000 for the 10 people invited, make sure that even if you volunteered to just bring the wine, it's not Novellino or Carlo Rossi. Get one priced the same as what the other invitees will contribute. Cheapskates will never be invited to another party ever again. Besides, everyone will be talking behind your back on how a heel you were.

If the party requires a gift, how much worth of gift should you bring? I often get asked this question and I have a simple rule of thumb. It depends on the event. For example, if the event is a wedding and you happen to be a guest where the reception will be held at the Grand Ballroom of the Manila Peninsula with the guest list being part of the who's who in Philippine society, expect that the food plated would cost around P3000/head at the minimum. That's how much the gift should cost. If you're two people going (husband and wife are invited), the minimum gift you should bring should cost P6000. If you're going to a baptism where the reception will be held at Jollibee, the gift you bring should cost no more than P200 if you're going alone. If your whole family is invited, (and you happen to bring your husband, your 4 kids and 3 nannies), the total gift to the celebrant should be P1800. And do not attempt to drag something out of your closet and wrap them only to get free chow. It's so untasteful and disgusting. One time I got a gift that had the name of another person engraved in the pen! Ewwww...she was stricken off my guest list...for life! And NO, the cliche of "it's the thought that counts" does not apply to parties where a gift is mandatory.

Do you come in early or late? Like many parties, there are guests that arrive really early. The early birds are usually seen in wedding receptions. Most of the guests don't go to the wedding ceremonies but pop up in the ballroom. That's fine. Another rule of thumb: If you have no plans of going to the wedding proper, it is good courtesy that you don't appear in the reception much much earlier than the bride and groom entourage. Mga patay-gutom lang ang ganito! If you get to the reception earlier than the entourage, roam around somewhere nearby and wait for the bridal car to arrive before appearing. Otherwise, you'd look like paupers begging for scraps. Then there are people that like a dramatic entrance. Again, when the event is a formal event that requires you to be there at 7pm, come at 7pm and not Filipino time where the guests come prancing in at 9pm. You're too early for the next wedding reception! Remember: you're a guest here and it would be rude to make yourself the star of the event. You play a supporting role to the party, so be considerate and display proper decorum not only in what you wear to the event but in how and when you arrive. Even if you think you are Diva, you don't have to act like one. Divas in formal events stick out like a sore thumb. Then, there are parties that are highly informal - like birthday parties in the homes or soirees in the yard or just a night of unwinding in the garden. When the celebrant says that the party starts are 4ish and should go up to midnight, it means that you can drop in anytime as it's an event that will most probably have food flowing from dusk to dawn. And because the guest will be arriving and leaving at any point in time, a casual wear is most appropriate. Do not come looking like Prince Charles or the Queen of England to the latter type of event, unless you want to be mistaken for the security guard of the village.

Finally, what's the best gift to bring to a party? A good mood. If you happen to be having the worst day of your life that day, leave the bad mood at home or better yet, call the host and beg off from the party. He/she will understand. There's no reason why you will need to make other people miserable just because you think "misery loves company". It's a party. Enjoy yourself and the company of friends and make new friends. Dance. Flirt. Laugh. And do not discuss business just because you're a screwball gone ballistics trying to close in on a deal by attempting to sell houses, jewelry, cars, gadgets, kakanin, children's toys, or your business in the party! People came here to let their hair down and enjoy the day. Don't spoil it by introducing your business here and harassing the guests! I get enough of that in the malls every day.

2. Party size.
I am often asked, "what's a good party size" or "how many guests should I invite"? That depends on the party. A rule of thumb is when you just plan to have a few friends over for dinner and drinks, a light chat, a good laugh and some intimate conversation, 6-8 people is a good crowd. It leaves room for a great exchange in conversation and some parlor games to unwind to. It's a good reminder that guests should interact with each other. If you will need to invite 12-20 people, you may want to consider breaking the crowd into two batches. That way, you'd play the perfect host. Divide your set of friends into two by inviting those closely associated with one another in the first batch and then those closely knitted together in the second batch.
Remember, you don't need to get invited to every party your friends throw. I remember a colleague of mine asking me if I was invited to the wedding of the daughter of another close friend. She gasped when I said NO. I told her, "that's fine. Just because I didn't get invited doesn't mean they love me less. It just meant that I'm no in on this particular event."

3. Decorum in the party.
So there are food and drinks in a party. Which means that you don't have to pig out! Which is why I hate buffet events. Not because of the food, but because of the people without social graces. Once the host says that food's ready - boy do you see the whole caboodle get off their seats and swoop to the food station. The lechon is all bones in 30 seconds flat, the noodles have all the vegetable strands left, the tempura shrimps are all sauces left...and you see the lady in front of you grab a whole plate full of the crabs! You get what I mean don't you? When the food is served buffet style, get a little of each. Do not hog the buffet table by scooping in hoards all the oysters, prawns and caviar while talking out loudly "oh wow, this is my favorite...and this too...and wow, I love crabs..." and then teetering back to your seat with a plate as high as a pyramid because it's full of food! Ugghhh!!! Be considerate. There are other people that came to eat as well.

And if it's an open bar, it doesn't mean that you intend to get drunk in the party. The booze may be flowing, but you shouldn't be going home inebriated or dead drunk. You should know how to handle yourself if you intend to take alcohol. Getting too much drink will alter your inhibitions and you might end up spoiling other people's party just because you were drinking too much.

If you need to get a nicotine break, please do it somewhere far far away. It's unruly to be smoking inside the party place especially if it's held in a home. Courtesy dictates that if you do get the nicotine urge, take the pack of cigarettes you have outside the house (walk one block away) and fill your lungs with carbon monoxide there. You don't have to kill the guests just because you're suicidal.

4. Small talk or big talk.
One thing I cannot stand in parties is when people have nothing better to talk about, they begin to gossip. No, it's not the kind of gossip of tabloids. Like I wouldn't mind talking about a publicly relevant topic - PNoy's love life or Vicky Belo not being an accredited dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon or the RH bill's pros and cons - a healthy discussion on a relevant or irrelevant topic is fine. Two NO NOs when making conversation. Gossip and bragging.

There's always a bragger in the crowd. How much money he's made in 30 days. How expensive the new car he bought for his mistress. How much the latest LV or Hermes bag she bought at Greenbelt cost her. How pricey the latest Bulgari necklace her sugar daddy gave her. You're in for the picking for the "most likely to get mugged or kidnapped in the parking lot" award!

And the rumor mongerer. Guy, girl or gay - there's always the person whom you intend to tell a good gossip to because you know that telling that person is like broadcasting it live on DZMM. As a rule, it's never nice to gossip about friends (I think that's the same rule with your enemies). Just because they're not around does not give you permission to back-bite on them. You wouldn't like the tables turned when you're not around as well. Remember: Unless something positive and productive loosen from your lips, do not gossip unless you want to sink a ship!

5. Of friends, enemies and cliques.
I read an article that classified friends into various categories - former friends, famous friends, forgotten friend, and transgenerational friends. You end up in an event where you see friends falling in these groups. How do you associate with them?

When Jesus said that you should "love your enemies", I think what He wanted to actually say was "ignore the motherfucker". Civility is the rule and you'll need to practice the art of shunning from former friends. Don't forget - there was a reason for him to fall off your phone book contacts. Which means that all you'll need to remember is why he/she has been relegated to the category of "former".

Then there's the famous friend. These friends are like prescription drugs. They carry an expiration date. Some famous friends feel that they're the life of the party. They're the center of attention because they're famous. When the popularity has died down and he's now a has-been, they suck up to you for scraps of attention. A true friend - famous or infamous - sticks with you through thick or thin. When you see famous friend in the crowd, wave at him/her. If he/she waves back at you, you're recognized. You don't have to act like a puppy begging his/master to pet him on the head every now and then. Good boy - SIT! BEG! GROVEL! BITCH!

Now there's a face I can't put on my head. Seen him and as he approaches you with that gargantuan smile, you can't fucking remember his name!!!! He puts out his hand and shoves it into yours to greet you and pats you on the back and says your nickname out loud saying "dude, haven't seen you in ages. Wow...geez...you're looking good man! So how's it going?" And you can't fucking remember the guy's name! Sanamagan! This frequently happens with me and when it does I just say "wow you look good too" or "wow, you've really aged and look like shit...what happened to you?". After the short chit chat, you still have no idea who he was. It's a good practice to ask a good friend, "who was that?" quietly.

I have come to a point in my life where I have a lot of transgenerational friends. These are the mentors and the mentee. We were once mentored when we were younger and beginning our practice or business. As we mature, we mentor in return. I remember my 50th birthday bash was a mixed crowd - my mentors and my mentees were there. It's a good reminder that we need to acknowledge those who've molded us to who we are today - successful in our own right. Then there are those whom we're molding to greatness as well. Life is a full circle. And this is how great companies and empires are built. Having them in the same crowd is a sign...that you've finally arrived!

It's inescapable that in an event, you'll bump into an enemy or two. Having the right enemies, however, should be the rule. It shows you have chutzpah or guts. It's a reflection on the standards you represent. But like true friends, it should be one on one and not a groupie.

Which leads to the description of a clique. It's the equivalent of the thug version called gangs. Never get involved in one. Cliques are a representation of a groupie and NOT your individual personality. If you're in a clique, get out of it before it's too late. We don't make friends with your friends. Friendship is a one-on-one affair and not a buy one take ten deal. You don't need to please the crowd. Doing so makes the friendship lopsided and stressful one.

Even in the age of technology where finding friends and liking people are but a google away, there will always be those whom we welcome into our lives not because of the fame and fortune, but the times when someone stood by you through thick and thin. There probably is a longer list of acquaintances we have today than say, a year ago. Thanks to the social network. But it does not mean that when we engage in social affairs with people, we will need to break traditional rules in dealing with them in social events.

Human nature dictates that we are all social butterflies.

Inconsiderate

Let me thank a member of the country club I go to for being the subject of my blog today.

The title alone says it all. But I will let my readers be the judge of this.

Here's what happened:

Last Tuesday when I was working out, there's this guy (a member's dependent), let's call him A, who started working out quietly as well. Then his friend, let's call him B, popped in and started working out with him. After almost 30 minutes, A and B were still in the same work out space and hogging the equipments. Of course, it was taking them forever to finish. Not because they were concentrating on what they were doing. They were talking and chit chatting and checking their mobile phones for messages and replying to it in between. They were having very long conversations. And as my sweat was drying up, I casually walked up to one of them and asked, "are you finished?" That's when he picked up his towel and he and his friend moved to another spot, to another gym equipment and started their conversation again.

How sweet...

I let it pass. But it destroyed my work out routine. You know how it is when you've warmed up and are ready to lift a few weights. And then some inconsiderate person comes along to make the gym look like lover's lane.

Three days later, A is working out at the country club gym when I get there. He works out quietly and finishes some routine. Good. Then comes along another guy (I guess another friend?), let's call him C. This time, C just sits down on one of the equipments and yakkity yaks while A's working out. Every once in awhile, C would look at the large mirrors, smiles at himself and fixes his hair!!!!! Sanamagan, I wanted to slap C. He'd talk to A then face the mirror and pat his hair and arrange it and then smile at himself then talk again to A.

I called the attention of one the people at the gym to ask C to leave if he wasn't going to work out. He is, after all, occupying space. Unlike B, this guy was not dressed for the gym and was just keeping A company. The attendant had asked C if he was working out and if he was a member or a dependent of a member. C said he was not and was just a guest. And the attendant asked him to wait for A outside the gym area.

In a huff, A had stormed out of the gym and called his MOTHER!!!!!!

Mom comes in after 10 minutes and faces the gym attendant. He berates the gym attendant and demands to see the supervisor about the incident. I told the gym attendant I would go and talk to the mother, but the attendant said that he'd handle it because he didn't want the members to end up fighting.

The mother wouldn't let it go and started huffing and puffing and arguing for around 30-40 minutes in the gym. The other members were wondering what the commotion was all about. When she left after 40 minutes, the FATHER of A had called by phone and demanded to talk to the attendant as well. He berated the attendant for the "shame" brought on his son because the attendant had asked his son's guest to step out and wait for him outside.

After the mother had left, I asked the supervisor and attendant what happened.

The staff had told me that the mother was argumentative and that she demanded to see rules and regulations of the club on usage of the gym, that she felt her son was being singled out and that there are other members that make "istambay" in the gym anyway and that she'd be monitoring everyone from here on (good!!!), and that members, their dependents and their guests shouldn't be treated like that because they pay!

My first instinct was to run after the mother and talk to her. Slap some sense into her. But the the father called and sided with the story of his son and wifey. I guess there's something very wrong with this family and let it go.

But the staff and supervisor informed me that they stood pat at my complaint. I was right and the rules and regulations were clearly posted at the wall of the gym. Some people just don't bother to read. I guess some parents send their kids to school but their kids end up being illiterate.

So if the parents happen to read this blog, let me inform you that club membership is a PRIVILEGE and not a RIGHT!

In short, while we are all stock holders of the club, we all pay our dues equally. Rules and regulations of the club are for all members, their dependents, and guests. Members are responsible for their dependents and their guests. Dependents enjoy a few perks until they reach the age of 25 (which is weird for this club. They should make the maximum dependency age 21). Guests who don't pay for the use of facilities must stay outside of the facility areas and wait for the members in common areas or public areas. And guests are the lowest form of animals on the planet of the club. Not only should they obey the rules and regulations but have no privilege at all.

One word describes this family - INCONSIDERATE!

This is a huge problem among many Pinoys. They think that when they are members, they own the country club. They think the world revolves around them. When your children are wrong, they are wrong. As parents we need to explain that. Instead of barging into the gym and looking for the culprit, the mother should have asked what happened first. Then asked for the club rules (didn't they read the membership brochure?). Then talked to her son or made her son face the attendant.

But no!!! She took it to a different level. She and everyone in her family showed true meaning to the word INCONSIDERATE!

Who did they think they were?!?!?!!? Maybe next time when the boy works out, the mother should make his son wear a tiara so that we know that the Queen of Sheeba has arrived and her royalty is acknowledged. WDTF!!!!!

I can't totally blame the son for being what he is (even if the think the guy is a toad). Apparently with the way the mother reacted, the boy comes from a family that teaches him to be inconsiderate, bad manners and wrong conduct, and that even wrong reasoning has a place in the sun as long as you have money. There is something wrong with this family and the parents need to get reoriented to the proper perspective on the do's and don'ts on club membership.

I don't care if their son needs another boy to hold his hand or flirt with him or even cavort with him while he's working out. But rules are rules. They were made so that we provide some order into chaos.

Even if having another boy around their son will provide inspiration to their son's workout, some people just need to be a little more considerate with others not only at the club but in our daily lives as well.

If you can't teach this to your kids, your family can just roll over and die for all I care.

Etiquette 101

A friend of mine once told me that "good manners and right conduct is not learned in school. It's learned at home."

I blog about an old but important topic - basic etiquette - so that the concerned parties can share Etiquette 101 with their kids (and probably themselves as well). Basic etiquette seems to be a distant knowledge among the average Pinoy in the Philippines. Put them in LaLa Land and they impressively obey rules, regulations, and yes, even basic etiquette!

The following are simple basic guidelines. I hope you share it with the ignoramus around the corner.

AT THE GYM

School's out! And the gym is now occupied by these teeny bopper gym rats who don't seem to know how to use the gym properly.

Basic rules:
1. Put back the weights after you use them. There are other members in the gym. They are not your maids and you must be considerate that after you've used them, you put them back in their proper place. Cleaning up your mess is also not within the job description of the gym attendant or gym instructor. There's a basic saying "if you can't put them back later, don't lift them."

2. Don't hover over the gym equipment. A lot of young people like to work out in groups. I have nothing against these groupies, except that they end up chit chatting in the work out area, especially around a gym equipment. If you need to chit chat, do it somewhere else. Which goes to the point of putting your mobile phones off as well. I really don't mind occasional text and short calls, but really, some people feel that the gym is like the extension of their offices! It's really infuriating when they take the calls, and sit on the bench press seat for like the next 30 minutes and you're left waiting for your turn. Which also means that you're not suppose to hover around the water station as if to it the whole 5 gallons of water was yours. And please get rid of your used cups after! If you need a maid to do all these, please bring your mom or dad along so they can be your slaves.

3. Don't stare! It's not nice to stare. Whether you stare in the gym at someone who oddly looks like a bowling ball or stare at body beautiful, it's malicious to stare.

4. When you're sick, don't work out. If you're not feeling well don't work out. If you think you're going to get sick, don't work out. In short, I'm not recommending that you don't work out so that you get better. I'm recommending not working out when you're under the weather so that others don't get sick.


IN THE ELEVATOR AND THROUGH THE DOOR


As a cardinal rule, you always make the person who is inside a building, a lift, an office, a unit or wherever go OUT first before you go IN!

When I take the elevator going to my clinic, I get so stressed with so many stupid people who don't know how to take a lift.

1. Read the signs. There are some lifts that only to to certain floors. Don't fight with the control button on the right panel when you're pressing the floor and the lift replies to you "Sorry the floor you selected is a restricted floor", which means that it's not going to go to the floor you're going to because it doesn't service that floor. Read before you leap into a lift!

2. Always let people out of the lift before you jump into one. The lift isn't going to go away or disappear in front of your very eyes. I'm embarrassed at how some people push their way into the elevator once the door opens, without allowing the the people to get out of the elevator first. Some people are born stupid.

3. If you're bringing a baby stroller with your baby whom you happen to be carrying, please have the courtesy of folding the carriage. It's also important to remember that there's limited space inside the elevator. Which means - please be considerate. At the hospital, seriously ill and disabled patients have first priority. I hate it when the elevator door opens and there's someone on a wheelchair about to go in and you see some people charging into the elevator, pushing the guy in the wheelchair.

The other day I saw someone who was carrying her baby in one arm, and two (yes two) maids who shoved an old man aside so that they can take the lift all together! The maids should take the stairs next time. Since we ban med reps from taking the elevators at the hospital, I think we should do the same to the yayas, maids, drivers, janitors, body guards, aide-de-camps, as well. After all, the latter have no primary function and are, so to speak, space occupying lesions only.


DINING OUT

1. Smoke only in the non-smoking areas. Then again, public areas with enclosed spaces should not have smoking areas. As a courtesy to those who don't want to get lung cancer, please smoke outside of the eating premises.

2. Don't be rowdy. It's alright to talk and have fun. There are places and restaurants built for that kind of mood. But a restaurant should be a place where one can appreciate the food and the ambience. If you plan to have a shouting match, then go and eat at the fastfood areas. Better yet, there are karoake bars that serve food. Try to tone done your voices.

3. Don't bring the strollers of the kids inside the restaurant. Please leave it outside! Be considerate with the other people who want to get a seat in a cramped place already. Everyone wants to enjoy a meal, so please leave the space ship outside.

4. It's not nice to bring food bought outside inside a restaurant you're dining at. Which is so true especially if you have bratty kids that refuse to eat salad or sushi and you go out and buy them their staple Jollibee or lug around your Starbucks frappe in a restaurant that offers frappes as well. If you don't like their frappe, you don't need to go on a picnic by lugging in your "favorite things". This is not the Sound of Music.

5. Don't put your feet up on the chair especially if you're wearing slippers. This is not your house!

AT THE MOVIES


1. Turn off those cellphones! The lights are bothersome to other people as well. If you intend to chat, do it outside.

2. Don't put your feet up on other people's chairs. They are not your foot stools.

3. Don't eat louder than the noise the movie makes.

4. Don't talk and tell the whole story of the movie (if you've seen it already) or provide a review (you can just blog about it) and puhleez don't have a lover's quarrel in the movie house. It's distracting. Of course, that goes without saying, you don't have to have public display of affection in the movie house. If you intend to do the latter - get a room!

I'm sure my readers will find more etiquette manners which the Pinoys should learn. Share them with me and I'll blog about it!

In the meantime, this serves as my prologue to the next blog where I bash a member of the country club I go to.

Some people just don't have breeding, even if they've got the cash. As I've said, you can always take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.

Cellphone etiquette!

DOTC Secretary Leandro Mendoza wants texting to be free in the Philippines. Now that, is the most IDIOTIC idea that has come from anyone. It shows that the anointed head of the Department of Transportation & Communication of this country is as lame-brained as the appointer. I will not engage in an argumentative thesis here. He is not worth the debate.

If you allow texting to be free in this country, it's tantamount to anarchy!

On the lighter side, there must be some etiquette to using a mobile phone. So now you have a phone.

A few reminders before you dial those digits

1. If you're calling someone important or your boss, unless his or her house or the office is burning or the world is coming to an end, make sure you text first to see if you can call. After all, this guy is probably busier than you.

2. Always try calling the land line first! Most of the people you're calling have a contact number in their offices or homes. It not only saves you money but you save the other person money too, especially when he or she is out of the country. For everyone's information, when you dial a mobile number and the recipient is out of the country, it's the recipient that pays for the call when he or she is roaming! Your participation fee is either a miniscule or just part of your plan (which means it's probably free). For a P3.00/min call you make from your phone to mine when I am roaming, I pay around P40-70/min depending on the country I am roaming at. The Philippines has the most expensive roaming charges for your information. This is what the DOTC should be running after!

3. When you hear a busy tone or the phone rings for 4-5 times and no one is picking up, don't redial. Send a text message. The person you're calling may not be within reach of the phone, or may be busy or is in a meeting. If it's not an emergency, for goodness sake, back-off!

4. If a sales agent asks you to recommend "friends" of yours whom you can recommend for a sales deal, please DO NOT give them the phone numbers of your "friend". Unless you consider him your worst nightmare, then by all means, do so. You don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry harassing you with phone calls from conspicuous people. It's the best way a crime is perpetuated. Thank the Filipinos for ingenuity in a criminal act when it comes to using a mobile phone.

Then there's the texting or SMS sending part

1. Avoid using short-cuts unless it's universally understandable. You don't want people to be guessing what you're trying to say. And because other people have better things to do with their time and their lives and you don't, doesn't mean you have to waste theirs by texting "pcm (please call me)" when what you meant was "please come here".

2. Check your messages before sending it. You may have been texting without looking at your mobile phone in order to show the world that you're ambidextrous and that you have a knack at both talking and texting at the same time, only to find out - you texted "gjtyhsl dkjt kkk" - guess what stupid, wrong text, wrong send!

3. Keep messages short and INFREQUENT. Bombarding someone with texts makes you look obsessive or psychotic or neurotic or mentally ill or bored with life. Get a hobby. Download a game. Better yet, make a blogsite.

4. Don't text in the middle of the night. My patients love to do this. I always put my phone in mute when I go to bed. My partner taught me this. It gives me better sleep. When there's an emergency, rush the patient to the hospital! People who text you are looking for a freebie! For the record, it is always best to end all texting by 10pm. Text message sent after 10pm should be slapped a full call charge!

5. Never text want you don't want remembered forever.

6. Don't argue via text message. You won't win. If you disagree, end the text message with "we'll talk about it later". Let the issue simmer down and get both your acts together. And never, never, press the call button when you're mad. You'll regret it. Composure is dignity in action.

7. Don't send spam texts. I thought the era of chain letters ended eons ago on to resurrect with the advent of mobile phones. Like saying prayers to 15 saints or sending that particular text message of 15 friends and wishing on a star or praying to the moon and all that crap. That, is sacrilege! Though some say there is nothing to lose but a few pesos for God, you've just propagated the mundane thought of desperation. Think about it. If you needed to send the text message to 20 people at 50cents per message that's P10 a day. If you did that 5x a week that's P50 in a week or P200 in a month. Donate that to Unicef and you could send a poor kid to school and keep his hopes in building a better country. Instead, you just made Smart or Globe a little richer. I have a feeling that the phone companies started these religious spams, counting on the religious fanaticism of the Pinoy. People who do this should and ought to get a life!

Finally,

Don't text and drive! You may think you're the best driver and that your dexterity in multitasking is a feat to contend with. Well, if you do, then you're a self-centered bastard. Think of the other people on the road. Remember, it takes two to tango. It's good if only you get into a mishap and die because of your irresponsibility. You don't need to bring the other party to hell with you. Hands on the wheels, not on the phone.

And if you can't resist nor avoid having to text back immediately, take a public transportation or better yet, get a driver.