The Gatherings

I heard several news this month on the passing on of some classmates back in high school and college. It reminded me of our mortality and how short life is and how we need to live it fully.

I rarely meet up with colleagues for reunions. It's not that I don't like reunions nor the company. It's because I don't have the time for it or that it conflicts with several of my already piled up appointments for the day.

This December, however, I did take the time to clear some of my calendars to accommodate two reunions.

The first was with some of my batch mates in my college days. We belonged to the class of 1979 for Bachelor of Science major in Mathematics at the College of Science at UST. We were a handful of mathematics majors. Truth be told, we were the best the college ever produced! Most of us are successful by industry standards and well, we've tried to make the most of our lives. While we're still all alive and well, some of us are doting grandparents already! Even if only a bunch of us were able to come to the reunion, hosted by the ever gracious Gigi Bautista-Rapadas (her dad Mr. Felix Bautista was an icon to recon with and I am truly honored to have been under his wings during our Varsitarian days) at her home. Myrna, who I missed during my trip to New York last October but flew in to Manila this month came to the reunion. Husband and wife Benjie and Beth Tan had come straight from work. Agnes took the time to be with us in spite of the distance traveled as well. I cut my clinic short that day, took the time to laugh, catch up with our life stories and uhmmmmm....make that special appearance with classmates from the past who never seemed to have aged a single day (okay so I exaggerated here a bit, but you've got to hand the fact that we all looked great). After 32 years, this was the first time I graced our reunion. And I enjoyed it!

A week ago, some of my co-residents during our residency training in Pediatrics at the UST Hospital had flown in from the US. Again, I missed the chance to be with them during my trip to Boston and New York two months because of "conflicts in schedule". I received a phone call from Gigi that Meg and Babes were going to be in town and could I join them for lunch? Because Gigi called me 2-3 days before the said event, I stared at my iPhone calendar in disbelief at the very short notice. I told her I'd get back immediately. At the mall that afternoon, I had bumped into Connie Paulino and told her of the "gathering". Connie was quick to affirm that she would attend. Period. Where, when and what time were the only questions she asked. Wow! If Connie could clear her calendar, then so could I. I told my secretaries to clear the Monday for me. Never mind if I had to reschedule some meetings but I was having lunch with my friends. At Chef Jessie at the Rockwell Towers, the five of us had huddled like we always did during our residency days. We told stories, swapped lives, looked back at how life during our training days were, talked about sex or the lack of it (LOL!!!) and yes, enjoyed the short time we could with one another.

That evening I had to cut my clinic short as well to go our Christmas Party for the Department of Pediatrics of Asian Hospital. Held at the Ayala Alabang Country Club and organized by my co-chair Bettina, the party (over pasta and pizza) turned out to be a lot of fun, with many of us letting our hair (or whatever is left of it) down and just simply having fun - like children,
once again!

In all the gatherings I attended, the thought that perhaps this would be someone's last get together dawned on me. We are, after all, not getting any younger. And somehow, the people in our past who are still with us today have taken our journey together. Our paths will cross, no matter how near or far, how long you've not seen each other, how well we've done (or not) in our careers, relationships and love life...and we need to be remembered somehow and we need to stay in touch to some degree.

It took these gatherings to remind me how good life has been and how precious friends are. Here's to all my friends out there! Cheers to life!

Of friends, retirement and Sweet Bella

It was a lunch out I will never forget.

I have made many friends in the pharmaceutical industry. Some are still with the companies I speak and advice for. Some...well, they've retired, moved on or sadly, passed away.

There were musings from Veron on having lunch with her. When she told me that after 19 years with Glaxo Smith Kline she finally hanged her heels of having to work them, I was initially shocked! We've been through a lot and she's practically been not only a colleague, but a wonderful friend whom I've shared many quiet moments of my life and the stories of our cats.

Over lunch, I could tell that she was really happy over the decision to retire from corporate life. This was the part I could relate well with. After 23 years of teaching at the University of Santo Tomas, my retirement from the academe was a decision that only I could appreciate. Like me, Veron had her "moments" with GSK. And retiring from what you routinely do daily does not come easy. But some things just need closure - so we let go and life goes on.

But the blog isn't just about Veron and I.

It's about this quaint restaurant on Burgos Circle at the Fort where we had lunch called Sweet Bella.

First, I'm not a food critic. I just love to eat, and I have a passion for good food. I just hate spending money on fast food chains not because they're cheap, but because they're unhealthy and believe me when I say that it's the road to obesity and heart disease.

The other thing about blogging about restaurants is that while first impressions may be good, sometimes some of the restaurants are unable to sustain their great food and service they initially have. And the review becomes moot and academic. But great raves are due to those that have made good impressions so here's my review on Sweet Bella.

The restaurant has that homey feeling when you enter it. The patisserie is located on the ground floor and what hits you right at the sugar rush level are the macarons on the display cabinets. Alright, so I have a soft spot for macarons and cakes. My experience points to the fact that restaurants that serve great pastries are just pastry restaurants. It's rare that you get to have a cafe or restaurant that serve both great food and excellent pastries.

The menu is not extensive but the choices are quite healthy. Since I was on a diet, I simply had onion soup and seafood pasta. Veron had her all time fave - beef salpicao done medium rare. Beef salpicao medium rare? Now this I gotta see!

The onion soup was just the way onion soups should be prepared. With a lot of onions underneath and not pungent to both the olfactory and gustatory senses. It wasn't salty and neither was it laden with MSG. The onions were crunchy enough without being too soggy. The seafood pasta was perfectly cooked in olive oil. Not too much seafood splashed all over the pasta, otherwise it would have tasted like stench. The pasta noodles wasn't sticking together (pasta shouldn't stick together otherwise it's overcooked) and the texture was perfect. The texture of a well cooked pasta should be slightly firm in the middle when you bite and this was the way my seafood pasta was. I was watching with curiosity how in the world could you make a tenderloin beef salpicao medium rare? I mean, I've ordered beef salpicao in various restaurants and I've never liked them because they end up hard as a rock. In short - the Filipino beef salpicao is just plain "pulutan" (appetizer). To serve it as a whole meal and medium rare - this I gotta see and see it I did! As you sliced into the tender meat, you could see the middle part cooked rare! Their beef salpicao had a warm and moistly pink center - firm on the outside, soft and juicy on the inside - so much like you were eating chunks of tenderloin steak!

The piece d'resistance was the desert. It was, after all, a patisserie!

Veron insisted and I took the challenge to gain an extra pound or so. So I picked the macarons. After all, any pastry shop that makes macarons should live up to the challenge of making the best macarons.

They laid out the 8 flavors on a long plate.

As you can see from the picture - white chocolate, chocolate, strawberry, lemon, passion fruit, rose, coffee (and not in the pic is salted caramel). I picked rose, and had it with TWG tea. To make a great macaron, you had to have the best rose macaron. And a rose macaron is not easy to make nor easy to appreciate. A perfect rose macaron needed to satisfy the olfactory and gustatory senses - you needed to taste it and smell it altogether. And even after the meal, the smell of the rose macaron lingered in my mouth and nose, two hours after the tete-a-tete we had. Seriously, I think they had the best macarons in town - freshly made! It reminded me of Laduree (in Paris) and the macarons were so divine that after a few days I asked Veron to order several boxes for me to give away to some of my friends this holiday season.

It turned out to be a great afternoon.

People come and go in our lives and many of us who go into retirement or exile miss out on the road less traveled - the great bond of friendship we establish along the way. It was a few hours of saying goodbye, telling stories, catching up with life, enjoying a great meal together, laughing our hearts out, making new friends and yes, it was a way of saying - here's to a great friendship.

See you around my friend!

My Singapore Fling

I was invited to speak at the Early Phase Clinical Trials Conference in Singapore.

Singapore is not new to me. Been there, done that. I guess it's one of the most frequently traveled countries on my list. In spite of the fact that I've been to the tiny country of 5 Million people that's bustling in prosperity and bursting out of it's economy gazillion times, Singapore has never ceased to amaze me.

I left Manila on SQ 917 at 210PM on a Tuesday. With a very tight schedule ahead, I was wondering how I would juggle my time there and get to work and play in my 24 hours stay in Singapore.

I arrived at 545PM at Terminal 3 (this was spanking new and they're building Terminal 4 now - geez where did the Philippines disappear to?), cleared immigration and got to the hotel at 630PM. Checked in, dropped my bags in the room and texted Marie that I arrived and would meet my former residents and students for dinner. I just needed to run to Orchard Road to get something. It was rush hour and I got to Ion Orchard at 715PM. Marie, Edmund, Miriam and Flei were already at Uniqlo waiting for me. After 30 minutes of quick shopping, we were off to Boon Tong Kee. Miriam had promised me the best Hainanese Chicken Rice in the world and I was hungry enough to eat.

This was one area of Singapore I have never been to. It's not a touristy area. The restaurant was located in an area of the city that tourists would not access readily. But the queue was long enough and Marie had made reservations so we didn't have to wait. Eventually, Braggy and Vince popped up to join us for dinner.

To say that dinner was great was an understatement. The food was fantastic and I loved everything that was served - from the Hainanese Chicken, Fried Chicken, Spareribs, Fried Tofu, Prawns (that were the size of my hand) cooked in cereal pork (I eventually named it Breadtalk Prawns because it's like the whole Prawn was cooked in Pork Floss just the like famous pork floss bread from Breadtalk) and of course, the rice! While gobbling on the food, my mind was thinking - where was I in all my trips to Singapore? How could I, a frequent traveler, have missed this place? But, yes, it takes a local Singaporean to find the best restaurants in the country. Forget about the Singapore Tatler's 100 best restaurant guides or the concierge at your hotel who makes a buck recommending a swanky place. Hands down, Boon Tong Kee was 5 stars and quadrillion miles away from the chic eateries on Marina Bay Sands! [Thank you Miriam for the dinner].

To say that dinner was fun was another understatement. It was time to catch up on each other. They were my students for God's sake. Which means that they kept calling me Dr. Co. Something that I was uneasy with. I guess it's the heirarchical tradition during medical school that leads us to address the oldies this way (sigh!). But the conversations had started with news about the UST Hospital and their training days there and how they compared the National University of Singapore's training (which had a wide disparity in both training, camaraderie and professionalism). Then it turned to a more relaxed atmosphere with gossiping about the shenanegans of even those wearing a cloak. This elicited so much laughter that we broke out in tears laughing out loud (I think the waitresses were looking at a bunch of crazy Filipinos who were on a day off from work). We talked and laughed for several hours, not minding the fact that they'd just kicked off from work and I just arrived from Manila and had to prepare for my talk the following day. We talked about life in Singapore, life in Manila, plans for the future and the reality that YES THERE IS A WORLD OUTSIDE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF SANTO TOMAS!

How time flew and after 4 hours of food, conversations and laughter, we decided to call it a night. They got me a cab and I got back to the hotel at 1045PM, reviewed my slide presentation and asked the operator to get me a wake up call for 6AM. I hit the sack past midnight.

After breakfast, I had a short meeting with JP from Proclin, a Contract Research Organization for clinical trials based in Singapore and Thailand. I headed straight to the 9AM conference and participated in the round table conference up to 10AM. I then gave a lecture at 11AM on the scenario of Early Phase Clinical Trials in the Philippines as why the country is ripe for the picking (or not!) as an Asia destination for Phase 1-3 clinical trials. After my talk at 1145AM, I was on the next cab back to the airport.

After checking in at 1220PM, I had lunch at a quaint Chinese Restaurant on Terminal 2. Roasted Duck and rice with a large cold lemon ice tea. I was facing the glass enclosure of the terminal building which overlooked the planes on the tarmac. I couldn't help but muse the conversations with my former students (and now colleagues). How time flew and how successful they were in their own rights.

It brought a smile to my face that knowing that as a mentor, they have come to the crossroad in life where they have grown to be mature, responsible doctors. I also realized that while I may be at the twilight of my professional career, I have been part of their lives. Somehow, that makes it worth the effort of having mentored them.

As the doors of SQ 916 at 210PM had closed for my flight back to Manila, I will always remember this 24 hours Singapore fling - where friends will always be the reason why anywhere we are, we will always find a home.

[Photo from Carmelo Braganza - and that's the waitress taking the pic at the mirror's reflection! If I had not thanked you guys enough, here's the blog dedicated to all of you.]

Fashionista 103 - The Social Butterfly

There's no stopping an idea whose time has come. Once upon a time, establishing friendship took a long circuitous route and carried a long affair with having to size up the next persons likes and dislikes before we called him/her a friend.

The era of social networking has allowed us to come face-to-face with the fact that friends are but a "return" key away and whether he/she is a sociopath or just a lost bored soul searching for some fun, "friendship" has apparently taken a different twist in the age of technology.

Socializing is the pinnacle of establishing relations - from the boardroom to the bedroom. So now you've found a circle of friends whom you enjoy some "likes" with, you bring the new found relation from a simple chat online, to a casual meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink or two, to some intimate gatherings and finally to the BFF (best friend forever) level.

Interestingly is how social graces at a gathering or party divulge the kind of person (and the breeding) we impress upon.

So here's a few tips on partying with friends, acquaintances, and the corporate people:

1. It's a party!
When you're invited to a party, know what the occasion is and dress appropriately for it. Don't go looking shabby where your nanny stands out more than you, making you look like the nanny's help. Is it a formal or informal one? Never ever wear jeans and t-shirts to a formal event. The waiters may look like your boss. Even if you drive to the event in a Porsche or Jaguar, the clothes on your back is a reflection on who you are.

As Filipino as it gets, never bring uninvited guests to the party unless the invite says so. Which means that you check your invite and find out if the name embossed there says that you can bring your whole family or your partner along. If the invitation etches only your name, it means you come alone and not bring the whole barangay to the event. It's also a good reminder that once you get an invitation and it says RSVP (répondez s'il vous plaît), meaning please respond or reply - make that call to the inviter on whether you intend to come or not. It's simple courtesy. And it's improper to ask if you can bring along a partner or your household if the name on the invite just says YOU! One thing I cannot stand are people whom you invite and come with a hoard of hungry lackeys! Remember, the reason your name is the only one there means that the event is a highly intimate and personal one and that other guests may not know whom you're bringing or feel that it is inappropriate to bring a kid or a maid or your dog to the event. In addition, take into consideration that the inviter may have budget constraints on the event and that he/she is doing a head count. It may be a P4000/head affair, so be considerate.

If it's a pot luck party, do not scrimp by bringing only cheap dessert or ice cream. It is fair game that you ask all the other invitees what the budget of the party is. If the minimum cost is P1000 for the 10 people invited, make sure that even if you volunteered to just bring the wine, it's not Novellino or Carlo Rossi. Get one priced the same as what the other invitees will contribute. Cheapskates will never be invited to another party ever again. Besides, everyone will be talking behind your back on how a heel you were.

If the party requires a gift, how much worth of gift should you bring? I often get asked this question and I have a simple rule of thumb. It depends on the event. For example, if the event is a wedding and you happen to be a guest where the reception will be held at the Grand Ballroom of the Manila Peninsula with the guest list being part of the who's who in Philippine society, expect that the food plated would cost around P3000/head at the minimum. That's how much the gift should cost. If you're two people going (husband and wife are invited), the minimum gift you should bring should cost P6000. If you're going to a baptism where the reception will be held at Jollibee, the gift you bring should cost no more than P200 if you're going alone. If your whole family is invited, (and you happen to bring your husband, your 4 kids and 3 nannies), the total gift to the celebrant should be P1800. And do not attempt to drag something out of your closet and wrap them only to get free chow. It's so untasteful and disgusting. One time I got a gift that had the name of another person engraved in the pen! Ewwww...she was stricken off my guest list...for life! And NO, the cliche of "it's the thought that counts" does not apply to parties where a gift is mandatory.

Do you come in early or late? Like many parties, there are guests that arrive really early. The early birds are usually seen in wedding receptions. Most of the guests don't go to the wedding ceremonies but pop up in the ballroom. That's fine. Another rule of thumb: If you have no plans of going to the wedding proper, it is good courtesy that you don't appear in the reception much much earlier than the bride and groom entourage. Mga patay-gutom lang ang ganito! If you get to the reception earlier than the entourage, roam around somewhere nearby and wait for the bridal car to arrive before appearing. Otherwise, you'd look like paupers begging for scraps. Then there are people that like a dramatic entrance. Again, when the event is a formal event that requires you to be there at 7pm, come at 7pm and not Filipino time where the guests come prancing in at 9pm. You're too early for the next wedding reception! Remember: you're a guest here and it would be rude to make yourself the star of the event. You play a supporting role to the party, so be considerate and display proper decorum not only in what you wear to the event but in how and when you arrive. Even if you think you are Diva, you don't have to act like one. Divas in formal events stick out like a sore thumb. Then, there are parties that are highly informal - like birthday parties in the homes or soirees in the yard or just a night of unwinding in the garden. When the celebrant says that the party starts are 4ish and should go up to midnight, it means that you can drop in anytime as it's an event that will most probably have food flowing from dusk to dawn. And because the guest will be arriving and leaving at any point in time, a casual wear is most appropriate. Do not come looking like Prince Charles or the Queen of England to the latter type of event, unless you want to be mistaken for the security guard of the village.

Finally, what's the best gift to bring to a party? A good mood. If you happen to be having the worst day of your life that day, leave the bad mood at home or better yet, call the host and beg off from the party. He/she will understand. There's no reason why you will need to make other people miserable just because you think "misery loves company". It's a party. Enjoy yourself and the company of friends and make new friends. Dance. Flirt. Laugh. And do not discuss business just because you're a screwball gone ballistics trying to close in on a deal by attempting to sell houses, jewelry, cars, gadgets, kakanin, children's toys, or your business in the party! People came here to let their hair down and enjoy the day. Don't spoil it by introducing your business here and harassing the guests! I get enough of that in the malls every day.

2. Party size.
I am often asked, "what's a good party size" or "how many guests should I invite"? That depends on the party. A rule of thumb is when you just plan to have a few friends over for dinner and drinks, a light chat, a good laugh and some intimate conversation, 6-8 people is a good crowd. It leaves room for a great exchange in conversation and some parlor games to unwind to. It's a good reminder that guests should interact with each other. If you will need to invite 12-20 people, you may want to consider breaking the crowd into two batches. That way, you'd play the perfect host. Divide your set of friends into two by inviting those closely associated with one another in the first batch and then those closely knitted together in the second batch.
Remember, you don't need to get invited to every party your friends throw. I remember a colleague of mine asking me if I was invited to the wedding of the daughter of another close friend. She gasped when I said NO. I told her, "that's fine. Just because I didn't get invited doesn't mean they love me less. It just meant that I'm no in on this particular event."

3. Decorum in the party.
So there are food and drinks in a party. Which means that you don't have to pig out! Which is why I hate buffet events. Not because of the food, but because of the people without social graces. Once the host says that food's ready - boy do you see the whole caboodle get off their seats and swoop to the food station. The lechon is all bones in 30 seconds flat, the noodles have all the vegetable strands left, the tempura shrimps are all sauces left...and you see the lady in front of you grab a whole plate full of the crabs! You get what I mean don't you? When the food is served buffet style, get a little of each. Do not hog the buffet table by scooping in hoards all the oysters, prawns and caviar while talking out loudly "oh wow, this is my favorite...and this too...and wow, I love crabs..." and then teetering back to your seat with a plate as high as a pyramid because it's full of food! Ugghhh!!! Be considerate. There are other people that came to eat as well.

And if it's an open bar, it doesn't mean that you intend to get drunk in the party. The booze may be flowing, but you shouldn't be going home inebriated or dead drunk. You should know how to handle yourself if you intend to take alcohol. Getting too much drink will alter your inhibitions and you might end up spoiling other people's party just because you were drinking too much.

If you need to get a nicotine break, please do it somewhere far far away. It's unruly to be smoking inside the party place especially if it's held in a home. Courtesy dictates that if you do get the nicotine urge, take the pack of cigarettes you have outside the house (walk one block away) and fill your lungs with carbon monoxide there. You don't have to kill the guests just because you're suicidal.

4. Small talk or big talk.
One thing I cannot stand in parties is when people have nothing better to talk about, they begin to gossip. No, it's not the kind of gossip of tabloids. Like I wouldn't mind talking about a publicly relevant topic - PNoy's love life or Vicky Belo not being an accredited dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon or the RH bill's pros and cons - a healthy discussion on a relevant or irrelevant topic is fine. Two NO NOs when making conversation. Gossip and bragging.

There's always a bragger in the crowd. How much money he's made in 30 days. How expensive the new car he bought for his mistress. How much the latest LV or Hermes bag she bought at Greenbelt cost her. How pricey the latest Bulgari necklace her sugar daddy gave her. You're in for the picking for the "most likely to get mugged or kidnapped in the parking lot" award!

And the rumor mongerer. Guy, girl or gay - there's always the person whom you intend to tell a good gossip to because you know that telling that person is like broadcasting it live on DZMM. As a rule, it's never nice to gossip about friends (I think that's the same rule with your enemies). Just because they're not around does not give you permission to back-bite on them. You wouldn't like the tables turned when you're not around as well. Remember: Unless something positive and productive loosen from your lips, do not gossip unless you want to sink a ship!

5. Of friends, enemies and cliques.
I read an article that classified friends into various categories - former friends, famous friends, forgotten friend, and transgenerational friends. You end up in an event where you see friends falling in these groups. How do you associate with them?

When Jesus said that you should "love your enemies", I think what He wanted to actually say was "ignore the motherfucker". Civility is the rule and you'll need to practice the art of shunning from former friends. Don't forget - there was a reason for him to fall off your phone book contacts. Which means that all you'll need to remember is why he/she has been relegated to the category of "former".

Then there's the famous friend. These friends are like prescription drugs. They carry an expiration date. Some famous friends feel that they're the life of the party. They're the center of attention because they're famous. When the popularity has died down and he's now a has-been, they suck up to you for scraps of attention. A true friend - famous or infamous - sticks with you through thick or thin. When you see famous friend in the crowd, wave at him/her. If he/she waves back at you, you're recognized. You don't have to act like a puppy begging his/master to pet him on the head every now and then. Good boy - SIT! BEG! GROVEL! BITCH!

Now there's a face I can't put on my head. Seen him and as he approaches you with that gargantuan smile, you can't fucking remember his name!!!! He puts out his hand and shoves it into yours to greet you and pats you on the back and says your nickname out loud saying "dude, haven't seen you in ages. Wow...geez...you're looking good man! So how's it going?" And you can't fucking remember the guy's name! Sanamagan! This frequently happens with me and when it does I just say "wow you look good too" or "wow, you've really aged and look like shit...what happened to you?". After the short chit chat, you still have no idea who he was. It's a good practice to ask a good friend, "who was that?" quietly.

I have come to a point in my life where I have a lot of transgenerational friends. These are the mentors and the mentee. We were once mentored when we were younger and beginning our practice or business. As we mature, we mentor in return. I remember my 50th birthday bash was a mixed crowd - my mentors and my mentees were there. It's a good reminder that we need to acknowledge those who've molded us to who we are today - successful in our own right. Then there are those whom we're molding to greatness as well. Life is a full circle. And this is how great companies and empires are built. Having them in the same crowd is a sign...that you've finally arrived!

It's inescapable that in an event, you'll bump into an enemy or two. Having the right enemies, however, should be the rule. It shows you have chutzpah or guts. It's a reflection on the standards you represent. But like true friends, it should be one on one and not a groupie.

Which leads to the description of a clique. It's the equivalent of the thug version called gangs. Never get involved in one. Cliques are a representation of a groupie and NOT your individual personality. If you're in a clique, get out of it before it's too late. We don't make friends with your friends. Friendship is a one-on-one affair and not a buy one take ten deal. You don't need to please the crowd. Doing so makes the friendship lopsided and stressful one.

Even in the age of technology where finding friends and liking people are but a google away, there will always be those whom we welcome into our lives not because of the fame and fortune, but the times when someone stood by you through thick and thin. There probably is a longer list of acquaintances we have today than say, a year ago. Thanks to the social network. But it does not mean that when we engage in social affairs with people, we will need to break traditional rules in dealing with them in social events.

Human nature dictates that we are all social butterflies.

Quality time

Thanks to the world wide web, our long lost classmates have now been found.

At first, it was just touching base.

The congratulations on achievements and the birthday greetings that popped up as reminders of how old we have become were happy reminders that we celebrate another fulfilled year or another year battling with some chronic disease.

A fair reminder are the pictures that accompany these greetings in both our Yahoo group photo buckets and in Facebook.

As we rekindled our acquaintances, we found out that like a double-edged sword, it also brought bad news as well.

Some of our classmates have met their maker - sooner than most of us who still get to read the news trails.

Lately, the group messages have become morbid.

The father of so on and so forth, the mother of so on and so forth, the sister or brother of so on and so forth have passed away. One of my batch mates in med school (Beth Solang) had posted in the email trail a startling, but real message - "some of our parents are in final stretch of this journey on earth."

That struck a nerve. Many, if not all of us, owe a lot to our parents. Not only because they sacrificed so much for us, but because they are (or were) the foundation and bedrock and inspiration for us all (to quote Evelyn Musni). They are the reason why we are where we are today. I guess, it's also the reason why we remain inspired to do good and to take the road less traveled...in rearing our children and providing for them in return for the care and love they shared with us.

Today is Tuesday. It's my regular day off. It's the only day of the week that I don't work and I kick back from all the stress in my very busy career to spend a day with my mom, whom I fondly call INANG. I have done this since my dad passed away over 15 years ago. One of my fave students, Rhona, coins my day off as TUESDAYS WITH NANAY!

When I read the email message of Beth, I was having lunch with INANG in the mall. I took a second look at my mom's feeble hands. The white hairs sprouting out of her head. The wrinkles on her peaceful face. The gusto when she put that spoonful of Arrabiatta pasta in her mouth. That was when the chord struck.

How many of us still spend some quality time with our parents who probably are in that homestretch of their journey?

While we probably are embroiled in the busy schedules we have in our successful careers, it's a fair reminder that we are all travelers in the journey of life. That we need to stop and smell the roses. That what we earn today, we will never bring to the after life. That life is beautiful and each day is painted more colorful by the quality of time we give to those whom we love the most.

Tomorrow? Well, tomorrow is another day. No one knows if we will still live another day to make amends for all the regrets when we or our loved ones are gone.

As the song goes, yesterday is dead and gone.

[photo from guardian.co.uk]

Over dimsum, peking duck and friends

I scrambled to erase all existing appointments for my friends. You see, I've not seen many of them in gazillion years. They were my co-residents during residency training in Pediatrics at the UST Hospital and they have come home to celebrate their silver jubilee.

And while they were preparing and excited to see their former classmates and enjoy some bonding time, they found some time to squeeze me in their hectic schedule.

Excited and giddy as I was, I was able to meet most of them during their short stay in Manila (as majority of them are now based in the US).

It was lunch at the Shang Palace at the Makati Shangri-La. Over dimsum, Peking duck and some delectable soup, we shared stories and reminisced those days when we were still young, carefree and yup...crazy.

Stories on life during residency training, admitting conferences with Dr. Eus Rigor, our consultants whom we feared and whom we loved, the loves and tragedies during the training years, the co-residents whom we despised, the scandals, the breakfasts we all shared each day after the admitting conferences when I was chief resident.

Stories on where they are today. Some had married while some, true to being a pediatrician remained - all the single ladies.

The 2 1/2 hours of tete-a-tete wasn't enough but we closed the restaurant and had to part ways and while it was the last I saw of them during their stay in Manila, they will remain one of the best part of my life.

They say that the people you meet along the journey of life completes your life story.

They complete mine.

Reunions in two acts in San Francisco

The American Academy of Pediatrics National Conference and Exhibition meeting in San Francisco was the agenda for my trip to San Francisco this October.

In between the meetings I spared all the rest of my time bonding with friends who had migrated to the Bay City. I stretched my stay an extra 2 days and in between their very busy schedule, I appreciated the fact that they too, took an extra 2 days off just to be with me.

I will not blog about the conference, as it would not interest my readers on what did and what did not go on in the meeting. It was, however, a good meeting considering the fact that the last AAP meeting I had attended was over 6 years ago. This was a reunion for my continuing medical education.

I had missed the wedding of my goddaughter in Manila last year. With my sister suddenly being in the hospital and all, I had sorely missed the day she said “I do”. She, her husband are based in San Francisco. Malu had flown there a few months ago to take care of her when she gave birth. Maggie who is now 2 months old was a joy to behold. Aside from the fact that she reminds me that I am now much older, I have come full circle in my medical career. My goddaughter had grown up with me and she is now a mother as well. How time flies. Malu, my kumare, looked contented and peaceful. Her giggles, laughs, stories and pride could not be contained.

I have always believed that life is like a play. It is made up of two acts – the first act is one of achievement. That is the easiest role to play. We try to find ourselves in the first act. How we play our role in Act I prepares the storyline for the next act.
The second and last act is one of depth. It is the most difficult because this story builds on the first act. Our roles are more challenging because we need to sustain the role we played in Act I. It creates the epitaph of the life we have lived. And there is no rewind here. No retake. One final performance before curtain time.

I think Malu has found her final act. Her contentment. She has finally find home, in San Francisco.

My other friends were with me during the various days. Jojo, Francis and Roland had relocated to San Francisco varying from several decades to several years ago. Each with their own stories to tell. Each had a reason for turning over a new leaf or finding himself or herself in San Francisco. Each finding a place where they could move on.

Perhaps like many of our countrymen who find a place to start over again or begin a new chapter in their lives, San Francisco has provided as a haven for my friends in some way or another.

During the few days I was there, we talked about old times. We dug up memories from our closets, we reminisced on our growing up years. Friendship bonds built over three decades drew moments where I became misty eyed. I had to put on my sunglasses or turn my back on them so they could not see how emotional it got to be.

We shared stories at where life has led us. The bitter pills we had to swallow. The road less traveled. The people who were part of our lives. Those we left behind. The people who are now part of our lives. The pains, the joys, the successes, the failures. The lives we shared that intertwined with our lives.

Between the laughter and the stories we shared I could not help but wonder where life would eventually lead us. I missed those days where I could have friends to turn to at every tragic event or run to when problems are too difficult to handle. I missed those times that I needed a friend to talk to or console me when I’m feeling down and out. I miss the days when I would not have to be accountable for my misdeeds or would get a pat in the back with my accomplishments.

I missed being free and being me.

On the way home from Stanford on the last day, we talked about where life would bring us next.

It was towards the end of the fall season in the US. And like the seasons in our lives, we are in the fall season. We watch the younger ones grow up within our midst and sometimes envy the youthful decadence and radiance we once had.
It is reunions like these that remind us why friends will always be a reason for appreciating the changing seasons in our lives.

And I will always be grateful that somewhere in our lives, our paths had crossed and intertwined.

It is the final act in the stories of our lives.

Wherever life will lead us now, I know that our paths will meet again. Because there was depth in this final act.

Laid back and finding myself in L.A.

Finally, I get to write about the final part of my US trip.

While it may sound like a saga, this finally puts the cap on the vacation spiel.










The 5 hours flight from New York to Los Angeles was an on-time flight. That was, of course, after Delta called me the day before that there was going to be a change in aircraft (from a lie-flat bed configuration to one that just tilts 120 degrees). No explanation given, "sorry for the inconvenience, you have an option to change your flight, but hey here's a $300 coupon/voucher that you can use on your next trip with us" dialogue spewed from some call center somewhere in the US. And since he was calling on my Globe roaming service, I had like 2 minutes to decide and just grab the coupon/voucher for the next leg of my flight.

It was farewell New York City and hello Los Angeles.

From one coast to another, from an urban jungle to a laid back urban city, Los Angeles was an upgraded version of what I dreamed Metro Manila should be. And dream on I will.

After getting a rent-a-car from Hertz at the Airport and figuring out how the GPS navigational system worked, it was time to ask the car to lead us to our hotel - Sofitel Los Angeles on Beverly Hills Boulevard.

While this is my second trip to L.A., the previous trips were business and no pleasure. This time around, I did take the time out to enjoy some of the theme parks (Universal in particular - where getting a Front of the Line ticket was twice more expensive than an ordinary day ticket but hey it was worth it. No queuing at rides or shows was a breather.), some of the good food, in the company of old friends and colleagues (again), and of course some time shopping in IKEA with my partner who seems to be obsessed with IKEA that we needed to go the Carsons and Burbank branches of this store.

Of course there was also the trip to Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive, The Kodak Theater, Staples Stadium, a drive to Redondo Beach area, and did I mention so much IKEA on the itinerary?

With the shopping and fun done in the daytime, the evening was passive and laid back - having dinner and chatting with friends whom I have not seen in gazillion years. There was so much to catch up on. Personal stories told. Life stories retold. Reality checks with our past, present and future. Then there was finding out how life treated us and the "what ifs" we missed. Emotions sometimes ran high, but we needed to hide some of them. But sometimes it just takes a true friend who was willing to listen, to let go...

And this made this trip to Los Angeles one that I will always remember.

As I had always wanted to own a property in the US, somewhere that will serve as my vacation spot, Los Angeles would probably be on the top of my list now. Laid back, good weather, nice neighborhood, not too noisy and not too crowded. Something that will always remind me of home and the feeling that I never left at all...

New York City - Of vacations and friends

I've always believed that life is how we make it. And what better way to spend our journeys and write our journals or life stories with the little adventures we experience and reuniting with friends whom we have not seen for a long while.

This was what this vacation was all about.

New York City was my first stop in my US vacation. Despite the fact that this was 4th trip to the Big Apple, all the previous trips were work related. Getting a break from all the stress of having to see patients was a breather. Seriously, while some of the people reading this blog may be patients or parents of patients - I hate to admit the fact that the routine clinic and classes and office work was burning me out.

The weather in New York City was picture perfect when I arrived. It was, after all, the 4th of July weekend. All stores were on sale, there was Macy's fireworks to watch, and the weather was great! The week before, the city had a heat wave and the day after I left, another heat wave! Talk about experiencing delays, I am still grateful that I didn't arrive on the day they shut down JFK for around 5 hours due to a bomb threat. I heard from the concierge at the hotel that they had guests that were still on the airplane because JFK had a bomb threat and the airport was closed to everyone. All passengers were kept on the plane for hours while the airport was cleared and flights were delayed.

I had a grand time enjoying Central Park, Good Morning America (live) with Mary J Blige performing, watching Wicked on Broadway, having dessert at Serendipity and Cafe Lalo, the Peruvian chicken at Pio Pio, Asian fusion food at Momofuku, roaming the Chelsea and Queens area, shopping at Woodsbury Outlet, going up the Empire State Building, having dinner at the Rockefeller Center, having lunch at the Trump Tower, shopping on Fifth Avenue, enjoying the 24/7 Apple Store in the heart of Manhattan, having breakfast in bed at the Sofitel New York, watching the Twilight Saga "Eclipse" at Times Square...it was truly a memorable vacation.

What made it more memorable was the fact that friends that I had missed in the longest time had taken time out to meet up, in spite of their busy schedule, for lunch or dinner. And this was more than I could have bargained for in New York. It was a "reunion" that made me recall the days when they were my students/residents. As a matter of fact, nothing could have made me happier than seeing them successful in their own field of specialty.

When I boarded my flight for Los Angeles on July 5, I felt a sense of separation anxiety. Has the trip ended so quickly? There was still so much to do, so much to see, so much to experience. But this was only my first stop.

As the flight took off to my next destination, I resolved that I shall make plans for my next East coast vacation again.

There is a character in New York City beyond the lights and sounds and food and fun that beckons you to come back. And they are the friends you have made in your journey called life.

Of friends and relationships

I've had my share of friends and relationships.

Some of my friends and relationships have come and gone. Some to better places. Some just missed the boat. Some with a better half. Some with a bitter half. And some have stayed on.

But life's like that. There will always be opportunities and we need to take that leap of faith and believe that things will turn out better.

And not everything will be a bed of roses. There will always be trials in life and there is no textbook that tells you what to do so that things turn out the way we want to.

Like a fork in the road, we reach that point where we are made to choose. Some choose one road out of practicality. Another chooses based on his/her heart or happiness. But both are transient.

Nothing is permanent except change and death.

One of my closest friend came home for a visit. It was her mom's 75th birthday. It has truly been quite awhile since we saw each other, but we stayed in touch. I asked permission if I could blog about her life and she acceded. But I will keep her life a private matter.

Her story is no different from many of our stories. She has had her share to tears and joy. Successes and failures. In her family, it had always been her that everyone would turn to. She was the eldest in a brood of 5. And they all had their stories on tragedies and triumphs.

Like most of her friends, we were all surprised that she turned her back on a wonderful medical career because of love and happiness. In another country, she would begin another chapter in her life. It was not an easy decision, but her heart would lead her to another land, to another life.

While life may pose more challenges today for her, she has remained the person I knew from way back when. I know that there are days that she would cry in solitude but she makes the most out of every thing that comes her way.

Which is what many relationships lack. The challenges may be too burdensome for others. There are those who are myopic and see the smaller picture - I. I have always believed that in a relationship, there is 'Us'.

Believe me when I say that there is no relationship where one loves the other as equally as the other loves you.

One will definitely always love one more than the other one. But it takes two to make the relationship work. I don't mean making the ultimate sacrifice, but rather, seeing the relationship not only from ONE person's point of view but also from the OTHER side.

And I share this thought with my friends.

Perhaps, there will come a time when we get fed up or are simply bored with our better half or friend that we forget to see the real reason why we ever got together in the first place. The happier times are easily forgotten and when we wallow in misery, we make the relationship or friendship truly a miserable one.

My best friend has always been my mom - INANG. And during the times when I look back at her relationship with my dad, it was not truly a bed of roses. It is evident in our stories of my life in my blog.

One day I asked her how she managed her relationship.

She answered, "no two persons live life without even the slightest of misunderstanding. But knowing how to forgive and forget makes partnerships last. Live with no excuses and love with no regrets. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1,000 reasons to smile."