Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Of friends and relationships
I've had my share of friends and relationships.
Some of my friends and relationships have come and gone. Some to better places. Some just missed the boat. Some with a better half. Some with a bitter half. And some have stayed on.
But life's like that. There will always be opportunities and we need to take that leap of faith and believe that things will turn out better.
And not everything will be a bed of roses. There will always be trials in life and there is no textbook that tells you what to do so that things turn out the way we want to.
Like a fork in the road, we reach that point where we are made to choose. Some choose one road out of practicality. Another chooses based on his/her heart or happiness. But both are transient.
Nothing is permanent except change and death.
One of my closest friend came home for a visit. It was her mom's 75th birthday. It has truly been quite awhile since we saw each other, but we stayed in touch. I asked permission if I could blog about her life and she acceded. But I will keep her life a private matter.
Her story is no different from many of our stories. She has had her share to tears and joy. Successes and failures. In her family, it had always been her that everyone would turn to. She was the eldest in a brood of 5. And they all had their stories on tragedies and triumphs.
Like most of her friends, we were all surprised that she turned her back on a wonderful medical career because of love and happiness. In another country, she would begin another chapter in her life. It was not an easy decision, but her heart would lead her to another land, to another life.
While life may pose more challenges today for her, she has remained the person I knew from way back when. I know that there are days that she would cry in solitude but she makes the most out of every thing that comes her way.
Which is what many relationships lack. The challenges may be too burdensome for others. There are those who are myopic and see the smaller picture - I. I have always believed that in a relationship, there is 'Us'.
Believe me when I say that there is no relationship where one loves the other as equally as the other loves you.
One will definitely always love one more than the other one. But it takes two to make the relationship work. I don't mean making the ultimate sacrifice, but rather, seeing the relationship not only from ONE person's point of view but also from the OTHER side.
And I share this thought with my friends.
Perhaps, there will come a time when we get fed up or are simply bored with our better half or friend that we forget to see the real reason why we ever got together in the first place. The happier times are easily forgotten and when we wallow in misery, we make the relationship or friendship truly a miserable one.
My best friend has always been my mom - INANG. And during the times when I look back at her relationship with my dad, it was not truly a bed of roses. It is evident in our stories of my life in my blog.
One day I asked her how she managed her relationship.
She answered, "no two persons live life without even the slightest of misunderstanding. But knowing how to forgive and forget makes partnerships last. Live with no excuses and love with no regrets. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1,000 reasons to smile."